Loving The Wallflower

Chapter 1 : Farewell, neverhome

Astra Raphaelia Evans was accepted into her dream university and that was, as she remembered, one of the best moments in her entire life. It has been her dream to study Psychology and Counselling.

Astra will be leaving for campus within a month and the city she was leaving for is an 8-hour flight away.

She had lots of time on her hand, considering she only needed to pack and leave. No lovers to bid goodbye to and no relatives to give farewell hugs to.

Friend? She had one. The one friend who grew up with her, went to the same kindergarten, primary and also secondary school. The one friend who spent his lunch time sitting with her, and also the one who always drives her back and forth between home and school.

He was the only one whom she needed to bid farewell to, apart from her own family.

Darian Flynn. Fairly good looking with his dirty blonde hair and beautiful hazel eyes. Considering their long time friendship, Astra was certain that Darian was one of the most popular boys in school.

The Evans and Flynn families had been friends for years, even before Darian's oldest brother, Jeremiah was born. The two families shared years of memories and friendship, which became the starting point of Astra's and Darian's friendship as well.

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It was one week before orientation and Astra was all ready to leave for university.

She struggled a bit to take her suitcases down the stairs, and no one offered to help her. Not her father who was reading his usual morning newspaper at the dining table that was located right at the end of the staircase downstairs, or her mother who was busy preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Not to mention her four years younger sister who was scrolling through TikTok on her phone.

One might even call Astra "invisible" in her own home.

After some repeated sweats breaking and grunting, Astra finally managed to get her two suitcases and one backpack downstairs in the living room. Astra took a seat at the dining table and served herself with two toasted bread and a cup of black coffee. She had to leave the airport as soon as she could to the dorm to make sure she would get at least a better side of the dorm room.

And a decent roommate, please, she secretly wished.

She heard the rumours about the dorm rooms. Some of them had not been renovated for a long time. Therefore, some rooms had a worse side where one can spot molds on the wall or dirty stains on the bed. It's a public university she was going to, afterall.

Astra already finished her breakfast by the time her mother brought in the sandwiches and hot tea she prepared.

"Astra dear, are you not eating more? I've made an extra box for you to eat later as well. Come, eat some. Or at least one."

Astra gave her mother a soft smile and nodded. She was very grateful that her mother at least sees her.

But is that not a bare minimum one as parent should give to their children?

Astra knew her mother was doing the bare minimum and that she deserved that recognition from her own parents.

Her father never looked up from his food to look at Astra, only to read more words from the newspapers in his left hand.

Astra's younger sister, Iris Michaela Evans took the seat next to their father and gave him a soft peck on his cheek while greeting him a good morning.

Mr Evans smiled at his younger daughter and responded to the greeting with a fatherly smile. A smile that has not been aimed directly to Astra for years.

She felt so distance with her own father and sister. What was the cause? She did not know.

Actually, she might have had an idea about what was causing the changes of behavior from her father. Her sister had always been distant from her, but that was just how the sisters interact with each other. Both were content with it. No complains, no fights.

Astra caught a glimpse of her own self in the reflection of the glass window when she was doing her dishes. She eyed her relfection up and down and let out a soft sigh, almost unheard.

Her physical appearance had been her most flawed feature ever and she hated it. She hated that she had darker shade of skin like her maternal grandmother, which made her look different from the rest of her family. She hated that she was the only one in the family that was oversized, just like the aunties from her mother's side.

It's unfair. Astra thought to herself everytime she was reminded of how she looked like on the outside. She just wanted to feel like she's truly a part of this family. But even her father could not hide the disdain on his face and tone of voice everytime he had to speak with her. It might have not started as soon as she was born, but she had been treated as such for as long as she could remember.

Am I not his daughter? Was I perhaps...adopted?

Astra had ask herself those questions for years, not having the courage to actually gain answers from her parents.

And that's how Darian became the only safe space for her. He was aware of how her family was like and how she felt about that. Darian never judged, nor did he ever distanced himself away. Astra treasured their friendship so much, she would always be grateful for him.

And little did Darian know, that gratitude has sparked something inside Astra's heart. That spark made her heart beats faster whenever he was around her. That spark made her quite nervous whenever he got too close to her. And that spark, was also the reason she would always give him the most beautiful smile she had. She wanted him to at least see the pretty side of her.

Astra believed that she has a quite nice and pretty smile. She wanted to give all of her best sides to Darian. She wanted herself to look the best for him. Although, deep down in her heart, she still acknowledged that she might never measure up to the beauty standard.

What matters to her the most would be Darian's perception towards her. That was how important Darian was to her.

He could ask her to do anything, and she would gave him the world. He, might as well, was Astra's whole world. Her own hope and happiness. Darian might have not heard any confession from Astra, for she never wanted to even let one percent of her own feelings to possibly jeopardize their friendship.

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Hello, mekeyJD here. This will be a slow story, but I still want to assure you that this story has its own fun and humours. I do thank those who will stay tune for further chapters ;)

🖤