The wrong crowd

Should we call it love?

That afternoon I go to go get some Starbucks and clear my head. I got a call from a privet number, I answer it.
" Is the Y/N? " They said
" Yes l, but who is this? " I asked
" This is your auntie, um there is no easy way to put this but your mum just passed "
I broke down. I told her I lived in a different state and that I will be there as soon as I could. I went home and started packing. The boys asked me t I was packing I just ignored them and left. I tried to keep it together so I could drive but I couldn't so I got Nash's friend Sammy to take me. I told him what happened and he told me that he would stay with me to help me though this hard time.
A month past, Sammy and I got to know each other really well. I think I even had feeling for him, and one night he told me to go back to school to finish my work. I wanted to be. Teacher. But that was because mum told me to. So I don't want to anymore.
" I would but it's just...." I stopped myself " dont worry "
He looked worried and gave me a hug. I started to hug back. I went to bed early that night. It was around nine when Sammy came into the room. He was crying.
"Why r u crying?" I asked him
" I just wished u knew how much I love u" he said " and I just want u to happy with your life and not do what I did when I was younger "
I got concerned and told him I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. I couldn't promise that I wouldn't hurt myself. But I have in the past so what's the point of starting now? He called Nash and told him what u said snd he came over as soon as he could. He told the rest of the boys and they came as well. I am starting to trust no one with my secrets anymore. I hate when people always tell my private things. If I tell u I don't want u to tell the rest of the world. But it felt good to see the boys again. But because Cam is famous he had cameras everywhere so now we r on the front cover hugging now everyone thinks we r dating. I hate it.
The next day I got a call from my dad saying I meant nothing to him. So that made me even more depressed. Now j had no family. That night all the boys went to DIGI and u felt so alone. I had to do something, and I choose the wrong thing to do. I choose drugs. When the boys got back they found me unresponsive in the bathroom. I remember waking up in a hospital bed, with all the boys around me. That's when I decided to change something with my life. At that moment I heard that my nan and pop cam in the room and I pretend I was asleep.
"Have u heard anything on her yet? " Nan asked
"We came as soon as we could" pop said scared "so what happened to her?"
Jack told them what happened and I heard all of it. I just wanted to die. What if Nan and Pop hate me now. I thought about it for the whole day. I didn't want to tell them I was awake. They were just glad I was alive and that I was in good care. Sammy told the boys that he wanted to talk to me alone.
" You said u wouldn't do anything to hurt me, u promised "
" What do u mean hurt u, I'm the one in the hospital bed" I yelled.
"I know your in the hospital bed don't u think that, that could hurt me?" "Y/N I love u and if u get hurt I will be hurting to"
A tear ran slowly down his face. The doctor came in and told Sammy that he was putting more stress on me and that he had to leave the room. I didn't back him up and say that he could stay in the room I just looked at him and he left. As he left the room all the boys were wounding y.