Blossoming Heartbreak

ch. 87

#blossombreakwp

87 : patch up

"SO . . . SAFE TO assume na hindi kayo bati?"

From picking my beverage that consistently falls with strawberry milk in a box, I abruptly stopped. Letting Yumi's question pass through and sink inside my head, my hands are floating and is just about to get the fruit-flavored milk carton. Rustin and I . . . didn't fight over something . . to sew a misunderstanding that blankets us . . . . kaya bati kami. Mag-banana milk kaya ako para maiba naman? Uhm . . .

My mouth is so used to the taste of the strawberry milk that I always pick it over any flavors, without trying them once. In the end, I picked strawberry and banana milk, and slowly closed the convenience store's fridge. Afraid that tasting the same thing all over again, I'll get so used to it in the long run, that I wouldn't be able to perceive what I liked about it the first time. That I'll forget what I liked about it.

Liked about it.

My heart thumped.

Uhm . . .

"Hindi naman kami nag-away."

Yumi huffed, "Talaga lang, ah" kumuha s'ya ng chuckie at yoghurt. Weird combination to have yogurt after consuming a chocolate flavored drink. But, Yumi inconceivably likes it.

The problem is rooted in me. And I'm pretty stuffed with that knowledge. I've been having a hard time avoiding him for two days now and for some reason, it felt soooo long . . . and the crawling feeling to see him is getting enormous. Never felt the feeling of being away from that someone for a short period of time but it felt dreadfully long. I snatched the onigiri and Yumi settled with a packed sushi. Ni-re-heat namin sa microwave after paying for our snacks at the counter.

Am I letting my fear devour me? To suck on me? To tenant the space I cleared out to recuperate? Na iniiwasan ko na lang si Rustin because my feelings are getting uncontrollable.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

"Himala, hindi nagtatanong about sa wherebouts mo," she stuffed the sushi into her mouth, waiting for my reaction. Natawa s'ya pagkatapos, probably because of my unexpected shock and stupefaction over the matter. I don't have a knack in masking my emotions, my facial expressions can be so blatant, that it is not difficult to figure me out. "You think so lowly of people's feelings towards you, Auri . . ."

Ngumuso ako. Hindi ko pa nakakalahati 'yung binili ko. Kanina pa ako higop ng higop sa milk box. "I don't . . ." or unconsciously I do.

# # #

AFTER WE FINISHED off eating our snacks at the convenience store, Yumi told me that we should tread back since it's getting chilly outside. I already told Mommy my plans for tonight. Mags-sleepover ako kina Yumi . . . because I don't think I can face Rustin just yet. Hindi ko pa naiisip 'yung mga sasabihin ko sa kaniya. Baka maguluhan lang s'ya kasi walang firm na construction ang sasabihin ko. He might misunderstand me. I might just say what rolls out of my tongue without second thoughts.

"Dinala mo onesie mo?" Yumi suddenly snapped. Tumigil siya sa paglalakad and put her full attention on me.

Nag-panic ako. "Uhm . . ."

She let out a sigh, with a why-did-i-even-asked type of look, "Ihihiram kita kay Yuan. Or ako na lang magsusuot nun kasi hindi naman bagay sa'yo kapag hindi pink, e. Kaso violet 'yung akin, I think bagay pa rin naman sa'yo," tumango tango s'ya sa idea niya. "Lusot ka ngayon kasi out of the blue ka lang nagsabi na makikitulog ka. Tsk . . . love life things."