What Once Was

Chapter 1: Keep Chasing my Shadows

I moved to Gotham around a year ago. The place wasn't exactly ideal, but it came to be home for me. I moved for school, studying psychology at Gotham State University. I've always been interested in how the mind works. My friends back home would call me their own free personal therapist. My biggest strength (or curse) has always been how much I seem to care for others (at the demise of my own well-being... sometimes). But I didn't mind too much. That's why I decided I wanted to study Psychology, to help others. My parents were hesitant about letting me move for university, especially to a place like Gotham. My older sister passed when I was 7, from cancer, and the thought of losing me as well was too much for them to bare. It took a lot of convincing, but eventually they caved. I remember the day they moved me into my crummy appartement. It's small, with one bedroom, a tiny kitchen and bathroom, and just enough room in-between for a couch and a TV. It's also not in the nicest part of the city, but location wise it was everything I could have asked for.

"Listen... it's not too late for you to change your mind. You're a smart girl (Y/N). You got so many offers from other schools. We can get you settled somewhere else, somewhere closer to home".

"Your mother is right (Y/N). You could have chosen anywhere. Anywhere else. This doesn't feel right (Y/N). Are you sure about this?"

I stood in the entrance of my apartment, a box of my junk in hand, my stuffed bear Barney sitting on top. I hated that I was doing this to my parents. But I had thought about this deeply for a long time. I had to do this. I had to put myself first, just once. A new start was just what I needed. I loved my mother and father, more than anything, but I had been under their tight grasp for so many years. I needed the independence. The time was now.

"I'll be fine! Stop worrying! I'll ring you guys all the time and keep you updated as to everything I'm doing. This is gonna be good for me, I promise".

They both helped me move the last of my stuff into the cramped space. I may have overpacked slightly. I hugged them both goodbye and they left. I took a seat on the edge of my couch and exhaled. I felt like I had been holding my breath for three hours. This felt good. I was alone, I could do whatever I wanted. Finally.

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The morning after the big move was... strange. I awoke at around 8 am. Much earlier than I was used to. I'm quite the night owl, to say the least. It was a Saturday. I rose from my small bed and drew back the curtains, eventually making my way to the kitchen. Unconsciously, I opened the cupboards in desperate need of something to subside the hunger pains in my stomach. To no avail.

"Shit. The shop it is".

I stumbled back into my bedroom and threw on the first pieces of clothing I could find: an oversized sweater and some blue baggy jeans. I fell asleep so fast the previous night, I hadn't managed to put any of my things away. Making my way to the bathroom, I quickly splashed my face with some cold water and brushed my teeth. I was only going to the grocery store, no need for any makeup. I grabbed my bag, slipped into some trainers and headed towards the door.

Gotham felt so much bigger than my hometown. High-rise buildings on every street, business men dressed in finely pressed suits rushing around like they always had somewhere to be. My hometown was small. It felt like everyone knew everyone. Having lived there my entire life, I knew every inch of it with my eyes closed. Gotham was extremely different. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and searched up directions to the nearest store. A 15 minute walk... not too bad. I made a conscious effort to take in my surroundings. It would be good to make a mental note of the nearest coffee shops, diners and all of that stuff. I also was not naïve to the stories I had heard about Gotham. The city was dirty. Unsafe, especially for a young woman. I kept only one earphone in my ears, making sure I could hear what was going on around me.

I eventually reached the store and grabbed only the essentials. Enough to make a weeks worth of basic meals. I was strapped for cash, especially considering I had literally just emptied my savings to move here. I paid the cashier and headed out.

Walking back to my new home I found myself lost in the music playing through my headphones. Music had always been an escape for me. I would place my headphones in when my parents would scream at each other, debating the best course of action for my sister's treatment. For years they blamed each other for what happened. Wouldn't speak to each other, except from when sending messages via me.

I almost missed it, getting too caught up in my head. It was a sign outside what looked like a bar...

!! BARTENDERS NEEDED. EXPERIENCE PREFERRED. APPLY INSIDE !!

I had worked in my local bar in my hometown for several years after graduating high school. I knew how to make a few basic cocktails and could pour a decent pint. The locals knew and loved me. It helped me build up my savings to the point where I could apply for university. This was perfect!

I ran back to my shitty apartment as fast as I could. I shoved my keys in the front door and threw it open. Running to the boxes still scattered all over the floor, I knew I had a copy or two of my resume somewhere. After a few minutes of rummaging, I found it.

"Aha!! I knew it!!"

I grabbed my resume headed back for the front door, locking it behind me. I walked straight back to the bar I had just found, which ended up being about a 10 minute walk. God, this was perfect! I reached the front door, opening it to the sound of a light jingle. The smell of liquor hit the back of my throat. The place was dark and dingy. A few booths, tables and some high chairs situated at the front of the bar. The place felt warm and comforting. I could see why regulars would stick to the place. It wasn't too busy, given it was only 10 in the morning. A pretty blonde girl was stood behind the bar. She was wearing all black, her hair tied up in a claw clip. She couldn't have been much older than me.

"Hey hun what can I get for you?" She asked.

Up close I could see that her skin was flawless. She wore a dark Smokey eye and a glossy lip.

"Hi. I.. um.. saw that you were hiring outside. I just wanted to hand in my resume". I fumbled with my hands. I had never been the best with job applications.

"Ahhh that's great news! Tell me about yourself. Have you ever worked in a bar before?"

I froze for a second, not expecting the questioning to happen straight away.

"Oh I... I just moved to Gotham.. yesterday actually. I'm due to start at GSU on Monday. I worked in a bar in my local town for 4 years. I'm looking for something part-time, y'know?"

"That's actually so perf!! You're like, exactly what we've been looking for! Gotham isn't exactly a place where people stick it out y'know?"

I giggled slightly, not knowing what to say exactly.

"How about you start new week? Say... next Thursday... for a trial shift?" The blonde smiled. Her teeth were perfectly straight and pearly white.

"That would be amazing! Thank you so much!" I stuck my hand out, gesturing to shake hers awkwardly.

"Oh my god don't be so formal. Give me a hug! The boss is gonna love you I can tell. And it's gonna be so good having another cool girl around". The blonde hurried out from behind the bar and pulled me into a tight hug. I froze at first but eventually relaxed into her.

"I'm Lily by the way. And you are?"

"(Y/N)".

"Ahhh you're so cute! God.. this is gonna be so good! I'll see you Thursday then, (Y/N)".

"I can't wait".