Tomorrow

Chapter 3 - Panic

Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Blood, Use of knives, Vomiting

*Alex POV*

When James and I arrived back in the common room we saw our friends huddled in a group talking in hushed tones. I had an idea of what they were talking about. We approached them and sat down on one of the couches. I don't think they noticed us until James cleared his throat, they immediately stopped talking and looked at us.

"Hey guys, everything ok?" Pansy asked. There was obvious concern in her eyes but there was something else, determination? She was probably determined to find out what happened at our Defense lesson.

I was still a bit shaken up so it was James who answered for me, "Yeah we're ok just had to relive some memories from back home."

"Yeah I figured, what happened if you don't mind me asking."

I did not want to talk about this again so James tried to shut it down. "Um it's all in the past so let's just leave it there, yeah?" he said with a small smile.

There was a moment of silence where I thought all conversations on the topic were over. I was wrong.

"It's so weird, I had no idea Umbridge had connections at Beauxbatons. I mean I knew she worked at the Ministry but I didn't know she had anything to do with the other magical schools." This time it was Blaise who spoke.

"I don't think she has anything to do with the school per se, It's just her nephew that goes there right?" asks Theo.

My heartbeat was rising. I couldn't talk about this anymore. My hands clammed into fists until my knuckles turned white.

"Yeah, what was his name again? Something Leroy?" Pansy asked.

"Ok that's it. I don't want to sound rude but this is none of your guys' business and seeing as the last time this was talked about I ran out of the classroom whilst having a panic attack, so could you all please stop talking about it?" I said standing up about to leave the room again.

"Shit I'm sorry Alex. I didn't know how sensitive the topic was." Theo said looking genuinely apologetic.

"I'm sorry Al." said Pansy with a kind, apologetic smile.

I nodded but I left the room anyway. I ran up the stairs until I reached the door to our dorm room, I flung the door open and slammed it shut behind me. I ran to the bathroom and spent the next few minutes getting sick in the toilet. After I finished I decided to shower and get this horrid day off me. I got undressed and let the hot water attempt to wash away the memories. However it was unsuccessful.

"Come on Alex, you know you want to."

One of his hands sliding up my dress while the other clasps my wrists together and pins them above my head.

"You know, your family is so wrong about you, you are anything but an angel. I wonder how they would feel if they knew what we're doing right now."

"I didn't like the way Pierre was looking at you, but don't worry I will punish him later, but right now it's you who I'm going to punish."

His leg coming in between mine so that i couldn't move.

His grip on my wrists getting tighter by the minute.

His hot mouth breathing onto my neck and whispering disgusting things into my ear.

Him holding a knife to my neck telling me to do things that I'm not proud of.

I was woken from my flashbacks by a searing pain all over my body. I thought for a moment that it was just the temperature of the water getting too hot until I looked down and saw blood gushing from my arms and legs. Scratch marks along the length of my limbs leaking droplets of blood that collect at the base of the shower.