La Guardia

Chapter 4: Historia

"Buenos días a todos!" Valentina said as she walked into the kitchen. Everyone echoed her as she went to set her stuff down and put on her apron.
"Mariana? You're back soon," she told me as she approached the sink.
"I couldn't leave you in charge for too long," I joked. She shook her clean wet hands at me.
"Did you at least enjoy your time off?" she asked, coming over to help me separate some dough into balls. "I guess," I said. "I told you I didn't need a break."
"Well you needed some time to clear your mind. Dr. Reyna says people with depression could benefit from time in nature."
"Well maybe I WOULD have benefited if I had depression," I told her. She sighed and shook her head.
"And why do you listen to that lady?" I continued. "She's not even a real doctor."
Valentina gasped. "Don't you dare say that about Dr. Reyna! She has written articles for plenty of magazines."
"Yeah the same magazines that say, 'If he can't find your O, he's gotta go!'"
She began laughing and shoved me.
The panadería is my second home. I was pretty much raised here, and it's been my only job since I've been old enough to work. Traditions and inherited work ethic have kept the shop open for over forty years. It was one of the few left in Chula Vista, and it was my family's pride and joy. With over two hundred customers a day, it was imperative that my dad and his four brothers had plenty of children (eleven out of seventeen in the shop, to be exact) to ensure the family business was in good hands.
As I began spreading out the piña onto the flat circular dough, I smiled. Valentina looked up, then smiled. "I can't remember the last time an empanada made you smile."
"Oh it's nothing; I just remembered something," I said. She looked away sadly. She knew that that was a sign of what the next topic was going to be about. She tried to change the subject before I could say anything else.
"Hey do you want to go to the movies tonight? There's this new movie with—"
"Oh no, I just want to rest when I get home," I interrupted. She pursed her lips, walking off with a full tray to put in the oven.
I don't understand the thrill of movies, and I can't sit through them. Sure, when we were kids, Valentina and I and sometimes our other cousins would watch and reenact our favorite movie scenes, but that was so long ago. I don't have the patience anymore.
Plus, I couldn't bear to see anything that would remind me of Julián. It wouldn't be difficult either. If I stop to think about him, my internal struggles will begin to surface, just as they were doing now. I picked up the pace with my work and moved past the feeling.

As I sat on my bed to brush my wet hair, I looked at my pills on the nightstand. My eyes then lowered to the notepad next to them. I stared out the window and watched the sun descending upon the neighborhood, with the events of yesterday morning and the night before still fresh on my mind.
I have no idea what was wrong with Ben. He was so generous and sacrificial, and he expected nothing in return. Or did he? Was his goal for me to call him so that he could track me down and harm me?
Then again, why me?
I've never considered myself very attractive, nor was I the girl that made guys look twice for one reason or another. That's what made Julián even more special. He saw what one else did. Am I supposed to believe that this accidental encounter with an unknown man is fate?
Part of me knew that I needed someone to talk to about Julián. Valentina was the closest person to me, but opening up to her about the love of my life only turned into me telling her what I wanted to believe. I wasn't lying... at least, not completely. She knew, though, and she tried time and time again to bring the truth out of me. Eventualy she just diverted the conversation whenever I mentioned him. I couldn't be completely honest because she just didn't understand, and she wouldn't.
Maybe Ben would?

—

"So did you at least get her number?"
        "I told you, she's married," I repeated to Sam over the phone.
        "You and married women," he said.
        "Every damn time!" I groaned.
         He continued, "And she had no idea who you were? You must've looked pretty rough." I laughed and rubbed my face as I laid down on my pillow. "I was recognizable," I said. "She's probably just not a movie person."
"Surely she's heard of you by now. I mean even if she's a workaholic, there's gotta be a tv at her shop."
"Honestly it was nice to not have to talk to someone about my career or have them ask for a picture or autograph," I said. "Plus, she was shaken up, so I kept her company. I felt bad for leaving."
"Ay, que galante," Sam teased. "Would you not have done the same?" I asked.
"I don't know, Ben," Sam said. "Sometimes I worry about you. You're pretty notorious for letting your heart dictate your decisions."
"I knew what I was doing," I replied.
I got up from my recliner and headed for the kitchen. I set the phone down on the countertop to grab a handful of cereal from the box I left open earlier.
"Well," Sam said. "I know you well enough to know that your mind wasn't calling the shots that night. Just lay low while you take your break. Don't do anything too crazy." I opened the fridge and poured milk into my mouth. "I forgot who I'm talking to," I heard him say. I picked up my phone and there was no other way for us to respond than just to laugh.
Finally, Sam said, "I gotta go. It sounds like one of the kids woke up and Katherine's in the shower."
"Adiós, corazón," I told him. "Tell the fam I said hi."
"Bye, mi amor," he said before hanging up.
As I walked upstairs I noticed I had received a message from an unknown number. I must've received it when I set the phone down.

Ben?

I grinned and sat in the armchair next to my bed. I responded, Who's this?
... Bing!
It's me, Mariana.
I began sending a message in return, then paused. I decided I'd call instead.
       "Yes?" Mariana's voice came through the phone.
"Mariana!" I exclaimed quietly. "Are you okay with talking? I was just too tired to text. I've been losing sleep, wondering what I was thinking by giving some random lady my phone number. I began thinking, 'What if this turns out to be some crazy lady who starts stalking me?'"
"Perdón, who called who?" She asked.
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Cómo estás?" I asked her.
"Bien," she sighed. "I was just getting ready for bed. I usually go to sleep after work but I couldn't this time."
"Oh yeah?" I said as I walked over to the bed. "What's on your mind?"
"Julián, like always," she began. "You know, we celebrated twenty years of being together early this year?"
"Wow! Congratulations," I said. I laid down on the bed and sighed. "How did you two meet?"
"At school," she said. "His math classroom was across from mine. When I first saw him, I knew I wanted to be his girlfriend. I could never get the courage to talk to him, so when I finally told my cousin Valentina, who shared a science class with him, she gave him a card to our panaderia behind my back and said that when he goes, to that she'd give him something from the secret menu."
"Wow!" I laughed. "Do you guys-"
"No, we don't!" she said, mortified. "On the day he arrived, Valentina called me from the back where I was cleaning, and when I came to the front and saw him she said, 'Here it is: the best thing this shop has to offer!' my cheeks were warm and my heartbeat was out of control. He was blushing too and just smiled as Valentina left to the back. Before I could have time to think of a way to hide her remains after I killed her, Julián said, 'You're in Mr. Franklin's math class, right? Third period?' From that point, we started talking, and we never stopped. We'd smile and wave at each other in the hall, and he started walking me to my fourth period. He'd come to hang out at the shop on the days he didn't meet with his band, and on my seventeenth birthday, he gave me a red rose and asked me to be his girlfriend. I know it sounds so cliché, but I swear it's true! And it was one of the best days of my life."
"That sounds so surreal," I said, sitting up in bed. "So you've been inseparable since?"
She got silent for a second. I realized that was probably not my best choice of words.
"Mariana, I'm so sorry," I said. My cheeks relaxed as I tried to step carefully through the mess I had just made.
"No no, you're fine," she said with a shaky voice.
"When will he be back?"
"Soon," she said, her words short and sharp.
"Soon is good!" I said. "And you know, I can tell that you genuinely love him. There's no doubt that your love's roots that have dug deeper over time, and by now yours must be as steady as a redwood. He's never really gone."
"I hadn't thought of it that way," she said. She was sniffing now.
"You two are very fortunate to have what you have," I continued. She was quiet for a moment.
"Ben?" She asked.
"¿Qué pasó?"
"Something else has been on my mind."
"What's that?"
"I've been trying to wrap my head around why a stranger would be so concerned about the well-being of someone they just met."
I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling,
I thought for a while, then said, "Well for me, it's just what I stand for: be good to yourself and be good to people. If you expect to see good, you gotta be good."
"That's a pretty good way to live," Mariana said.
"Don't say good; that's my word," I joked.
We laughed and I said, "I'm glad you called, Mariana. Yours and Julián's story sounds timeless. Thank you for sharing it with me."
"I'm glad I called too, Ben," she replied. "Well, I'm going to go ahead and go to sleep."
"Alright, you have a good night, Mariana," I told her. "Sweet dreams."
"Thank you, Ben. Bye."
I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. My heart was stirring, my stomach was fluttering, and my smile was relentless. I've met thousands of people in recent years, but I feel drawn to Mariana. I can't explain it. I don't believe in fate, but I don't think it was a mistake that our paths crossed.