Scorn and Devotion

Chapter 31

Warnings - mentions of abuse from an establishment, drunkenness

The room was sparsely decorated. Just a large bed pushed up against a wall and a chair in the corner. The bed took up nearly the whole room, and it looked soft and cushiony. A couple of feet to the right of the bed was a door.

Timothée led me to the bed quietly. I sat down, rubbing my eyes sleepily. The wild abandon that the wine had made me feel earlier was wearing off. I now felt emotional, and tired.

Timothée was investigating the door near the bed.

"They have a shower in here with running water, and night clothes for us to wear. You want to go first?"

I nodded. My head was pounding, and I swayed when I stood up. I made my way to the bathroom, and stripped off the revealing blue dress the Fae had put me in. I sloppily turned the knobs I saw, hoping one would bring the water pouring from the spout above. I finally figured out how to make the hot water come.

I yanked and pulled at the small clips and braids in my hair as the water ran down my body. I was finally able to run my hands through my sopping hair. I rubbed at my eyes, and my hands came away black from the makeup they'd covered my them with.

I moved my hand in the light from the eternally glowing walls. My skin shimmered from the powders and creams they'd used. I put my hands back into the stream and scrubbed at my skin.

I felt warm, and full, and clean, and happy to have the pins out of my hair and the makeup off my skin. I did feel refreshed from the water, but I could tell I was still feeling the effects of the alcohol.

I was reluctant to turn off the warm water. I didn't want to face the harsh cold that would hit me once I stepped out. I also didn't feel like pulling dry clothes over my wet body. I wished I could just dry myself and roll myself up in a warm cocoon of blankets and sleep, sleep and sleep.

I dried my hair as best I could, dreading the cold droplets that would run down my skin if it was left dripping. I pulled on the long skirt and long-sleeved top. Both were thick and warm. I wondered if somehow Gadina had found clothing of thicker fabrics for us.

When I came out, I kept quiet, trying to focus on not losing my balance. I sat down on the bed and without any words, Timothée got off the bed and went into the bathing room.

I should have been trying to figure out exactly what Abraxas's next move would be, but, I couldn't clear my mind. Instead, I was thinking of how nice it would be to be dancing with Timothée again. How him touching me had felt like home, it had felt like peace. I didn't want him to think I hated him anymore. I didn't want to be mean anymore. I wanted, I wanted,... what did I want from him? My head was too heavy to think straight.

I felt tears begin to course down my cheeks, at the same time my head began to throb. I was silent at first, but then I began to choke on the overwhelming sobs. I didn't even truly know why I was crying, but it felt good, it felt cathartic.

"What the Hell? Y/N?" I heard Timothée's worried voice from the bathroom door. I looked up, tears still pouring down my face.

Droplets of water shimmered in his hair-like crystals. He wore the same tan clothing I did, though his was made more for his slim and tall frame. He was looking at me anxiously with his glittering green eyes, like an animal that was afraid to move.

"Oh, sorry, are you done?" I asked plainly.

"What is the matter?" He unfroze and rushed over to my side, sitting down next to me. His old clothes fell from where they had been in his arms, onto the floor.