The Fate of Our Hearts

Chapter 26 - A Talk With Dad

Ren

Back in my bedroom that night, I take a shower and start to regret the decision to have Gio meet my dad.  The idea of them meeting for the first time the very night I was planning to sleep over at Gio's house secretly seemed... wrong. I let the water rush over me and overthink. 

I'm being reckless; my dad's not stupid. He'll put two and two together. Maybe I should just be honest. I could go downstairs and just tell my dad the truth. Tell him I'm going to my boyfriend's birthday party and spending overnight at his house, straight up. 

No, no. Definitely not. 

My dad was cool, understanding, and pretty darn lenient, but this is unfamiliar territory. I had never really mentioned Ryder to him and had never tried to spend the night at Ryder's house. 

Maybe I should say we are going over to Jace's like usual? Perhaps I should make up a whole other story, like going to a movie and staying at Kristin's house afterward? 

Ugh, I hate lying to him.

After my shower, I try not to think about it, and an idea pops into my head for an actual present for Gio. I'll finish that mix tape I started making of all of our songs and give it to him. I borrowed Toni Braxton's album on tape from Vicky a week ago, but that's where I had left it. 

I sort through my music collection again, get my Pulp Fiction tape out of the car, compile a few other songs, and decide I have enough to make one complete side. The other side will be blank for us to complete together later. It takes two hours to finish the tape and create a little artistic cover.

Now it's two a.m., and I can't fall asleep—thoughts about tomorrow, both excited and anxious, spin on an endless loop in my brain, and I can't find the off switch. 

I was relieved when Gio said he was a virgin—happy to know he hasn't been with another girl in that way yet, and also a good thing to hear as far as being safer. But another feeling was now creeping in. Last year with Ryder, I guess I had just wanted to figure out what sex was all about and just... not feel the pressure anymore. But with Giovanni...ugh—I want to be close with him in that way more than anything! And I start to kinda wish I could take it back—to be a virgin again... with him.

♡♡♡

My alarm goes off at 6:45 a.m., and instead of feeling groggy, as I should feel with so little sleep, I feel fully awake and hop out of bed. I pull open my top drawer and take out the new black lace underwear and bra set I persuaded my mom to buy me last weekend, recklessly ripping off the tags and dropping them onto the floor.

After I've gotten them on, I dash into the bathroom, stare at my reflection in the mirror, and turn to view the back—damn, I've never felt so sexy before. I race back to my closet and promptly hide them under my baggiest black pants and my blue striped baby tee (which I've never dared to wear to school before), so I cover that up with my Adidas zip-up sweatshirt. A small smile curls my lips, feeling so covertly provocative for a school day.

"You're up early." My dad remarks as I zip downstairs and into the kitchen for some cereal.

"Yeah..."  I hesitate, wanting to say something about the afternoon but not knowing what. "Um, Dad?"

"Mmhm," he says, unloading the dishwasher.

"Remember, I told you last week that I kinda had a boyfriend now, um, Giovanni? The one I've been studying with after school?"