Superheroes Suck: The Unnecessary Novella

Chapter 5: Just Dip With A Witty Quip

Conference Room 3b did not exist for the record.

Victor and Beck instead lead me to an old office on the other side of the building. It was uninhabited at the moment because, and this is just a rumor that has empirical evidence to suggest its truth, th office was cursed.

Apparently whenever they assign someone there, the office is destroyed by superheroes. They had five separate people in the span of a year lose that specific office and as a result, they hadn't assigned it to anyone for years now and there have been no accidents at all. Outside of one time where a window was broken but that's absolutely different.

"Welcome to our secret hideout!" Victor exclaimed as he gestured to the mess that surrounded us. Papers and photos and strings connecting everything adorned and the walls and every inch of the place. From the looks of it, I was a rather late addition to whatever party I had been thrown into.

"Very cute. The clutter is a little intimidating because I have no idea what's going on." I took a seat in one of the few empty spots in the room. "So explanations or introductions first. I thought the meeting with Jay was going to end in me being fired so I am really behind on what's going on."

"Right, introductions first I guess. Victor comes on a little strong and he means no harm." Beck shot Victor a look, with the latter of the two sheepishly slinking over to the corner of the room. "I'm Beck, in case you forgot in the long walk here. I'm been with the Advocate for six years now, primarily focusing on superheroes and deep dives into their history. In general, a lot of stuff about people with powers and their interactions with normal people."

"And I write about sports." Victor chimed in. "I know you don't know why we are here but that will seem random in a second."

"The fact that the two of you are working on something together seems pretty random." I admitted, "but from Beck's history, and I guess my history, this is something superhero related?"

"Exactly." Victor seemed pleased I caught on so quickly, "I may not have the hero experience you guys have, but people like me. They really like me. I'm great at getting stuff out of people and just not seeming like the super nosy journalist I am."

"It's true, he is the person who outed those Lax bros at Belhurst U for drugs." Beck said.

"I am not the kind of person you take serious, and I am a generally affable dude, but I am serious about my job. Our job. We are looking up stuff about Frostwyrm."

Ahhh. Now stuff is really starting to fall into place.

"Looking up stuff about Frostwyrm is putting it lightly." Beck gestured around the room to the utter craziness of their set up, "We are trying to dig up information on Frostwyrm. So little is known about them, and not in the way it usually is. Usually someone knows their true identity. The police or the mayor or some newspaper bigwig."

"But nothing." Victor cut in, "No one knows anything about him, or her, or them."

Beck shot him a look, "We agreed to just stick to them. The whole, 'he/she/they' pronoun thing gets too complicated so we are sticking to neutral pronouns to save everyone the headache."

"Right."

"Victor has been gathering eyewitness testimony about the recent attacks while I look into attack patterns and things like whether Frostwyrm could be a villain we know with a new name. Winter or ice powers aren't exactly unique or weird."

"So where do I come in?"

It's not like Frostwyrm is obsessed with me. For the record, I don't love the idea that I am known as some kind of superhero accessory or magnet. It took a while to start building back up respect although I'm sure everything with Stromer and Spitfire will haunt me for the rest of my career.

"You are great at being in the right place at the right time. Your photos are obviously phenomenal but you are a decent writer as well, I read some of your work from undergrad and you have a pretty unique viewpoint when it comes to superheroes." Beck assured me.

"We also don't have a dedicated photographer to boss around," Victor admitted, earning a hard elbow to the stomach from Beck, "and I think your boss was trying to throw you a bone. Give you something fun and glamorous to do again."

I guess it could be worse?

Victor and Beck took me through everything they had gathered, piece by piece. By the end of it, their crazy conspiracy board was beginning to make sense.

That's when I glanced down and noticed my photo of Frostwyrm hidden under a few folders. The shot of Frostwyrm with Spitfire in the distance. A shot worth almost dying for.

"Oooh, that one's yours. Right?" Beck sauntered up. I couldn't help but nod, "Spitfire's definitely a common...cape to see around with crime but we have also been exploring whether this big bad could be related to him.

"Doubt it."

That piqued Victor's interest, "What do you mean doubt it?"

"I feel like...there would be more verbal sparring when Frostwyrm and Spitfire went head to head if that were the case, not that they ever fight. Everything Frostwyrm does is...performative."

"Preformative?" Beck said, looking excited at the thought, while Victor echoed sounding significantly less so. "Preformative?"

"Care to elaborate?" Beck asked, getting up from her position on the other side of the room.

"I'm not sure," The two of them had spent who knows how long pouring over everything and I didn't want to say something ridiculous they had already considered and moved on from, "it's just that they don't seem like they've been trying to be evil or what not. They haven't been trying to murder any one, most of their offenses have been flashy buildings damaged, and all of the attacks have no strong correlation or reason from what you guys have explained. Plus, they never put up a fight when some superhero comes to stop them. They usually just dip with some witty quip."

"But Frostwyrm had an altercation with X-Treme not to long ago." Victor pointed out, his eyes glancing down at one of the stacks of articles on the desk next to him.

"Because they didn't escape fast enough. X-Treme's thing is speed, Frostwyrm was in the middle of some ridiculous diatribe when X-Treme arrived. Frostwyrm probably figured it would benefit their reputation to have this flashy fight because they suddenly froze X-Treme's feet and vanished."

"I think we should give Frostwyrm a little more credit than-" Victor started.

"I was thinking something similar actually," Beck cut in, "Maybe not that the whole thing was performative but that maybe Frostwyrm is trying to send a message. Or get people's guards down so they are underestimated. Maybe they are just trying to stick it to some rich asshole."

Speaking of rich assholes...

"Shit, I have plans tonight." I muttered.

Murphy and I had a date thing tonight.

I glanced down at my phone. It was well past five at this point, I had anticipated leaving work far sooner today because I thought I would be, you know, fired. Then again, Murphy didn't seem so sure that would happen so knowing him he probably expected me home at the usual time.

"Are you abandoning us on your first day for a hot date?" Victor asked, grinning ear to ear. He seemed like the type to never let something like that go.

Then again, Beck looked equally as amused. All of the serious journalist vibes were out the window as the two began to pester me about my "hot date" and whether they should even expect to see me tomorrow.

I answered as many of their questions as I could, with all the vagueness and mystery I have mastered in my years of dating a superhero. I am still a little hesitant to give out too much information when I am dating our boss' secret love child who happens to be a superhero and the son of another rich and famous guy. There is a lot of sensitive information wrapped up in Murphy and two people who were nose deep in one conspiracy were not likely to ignore another one if they caught whiff of it.

When I finally managed to pull myself away, I pulled out my phone to let Murphy know I was leaving. I didn't even get the first letter in when my phone let out a quick buzz.

I'm here Wallflower.