i used to love
the way you made me feel
like everything with you was real
and yet those feelings were laced with lies
orchestrated just to keep away the cries
and screams of pain and despair
because with all my heart i was there
for you and i put my all into you
and you made me believe you wanted me to
but now i sit alone in my car
waiting too long for the healing of scars
that won't heal anytime soon
because laying with my thoughts in my room
i remember all of the words i said
when i was crying drunk alone in my bed
and after all this time i can't help but shed
a million more tears for all the love i spent
on promises i didn't realise were bent
my future went from a plan to something i fear
i don't know how to go on without you near
and though i can still call you my friend
it's been so difficult yet i always tend
to give you all my love and support
even though i need to be taught
how to love you without it hurting my heart
because darling, we were a work of art
and i know you will read this soon enough
and i'm sorry for not telling you just how tough
it's been for me to get through this heartache
because every bit of progress i seem to make
is overturned by the smallest things
like talking about uni and weddings and rings
but one day i will show you that i'm okay
and when it comes i will call you and lay
with you in my phone and a smile on my face
for in my love there isn't a trace
of anger or hatred or negativity
because as i've said before you saved me
from the deepest pits of my mind and soul
when things were truly taking their toll
and i will forever love you with all my heart
never forget that. because you were and are
the best part of my life day and night
i just needed to say this so i can end the fight
with myself and my tendency to love too much
and i'll end this off with a final touch.
i love you, i forgive you,
and you will always be the one.
- feelings
