Cold.

19th Chapter - Mature Girl

     "Hey, your face looks horrible today."

     It was Tama-chan who was helping me with the project I am working on. I started writing about stuff I need to do for the project and then I will survey it later. But, I haven't been able to focus for a while since I keep thinking about Lamy-chan and our relationship.

     "Hey, Tama-chan."

     "Yeah?"

     "What do you think of a long-distance relationship?"

      Long-distance relationship, for 3 years, and not be able to meet much. That was the problem I will encounter if I keep dating Lamy-chan. And not to mention, what if... Lamy-chan got bored of the relationship and left me. I can't help but think that over and over again.

      "You still look hesitant,"

      "Actually, yes." I still my voice was shaking just the thought of that. "But don't get me wrong, I will still try my best on the project. It is just, that I don't know what should I do after that. Should I just refuse the contract and find my job here? So I can still take care of Mikocchi and I still be able to meet Lamy-chan every day."

      "And made them disappointed in you for the rest of their lives?"

      Y/n stopped typing on his laptop and turned his head on her, "What do you mean by that?"

      "Do you think, all of them would be happy if they know the truth about that? Their beloved Onii-chan or Onii-san refused the contract from a big company because of them" Tama-chan looked Y/n in the eye seriously, "If I were them, I won't hesitate to dump you after I knew the truth that my boyfriend is such a big coward."

      Mikocchi, Lamy-chan. I started thinking about them and imagining what if they knew the truth about it. "I- I just don't know what to do."

      "What are you afraid of? Be honest with me"

      Tama-chan still looked at me even though I was trying to look away from her. "What if... she dumped me because she was bored of long dist-"

      "So, you don't trust your girlfriend?"

       I stopped talking because I feel like her words pierced through my heart. Trust? I see. I still can't trust someone to the fullest because of what happened back then. 

      "I will tell you this one time, Y/n. If you don't trust your girlfriend, your relationship won't last long, trust me. And It is best if you end it right now rather than you got depressed and anxious the entire time."

      "But what if she met someone more reliable than me?"

      "Do you think your girlfriend is someone like that? If you think she is, just break up with her. It is that easy. You are so popular among women, you can just easily pick someone else."

      "But... I only want Lamy-chan."

      "That is the point. Do you ever think, that your girlfriend is thinking the same? That she doesn't care about anyone else but you? That she must be thinking that she is one lucky girl to date you?"

      "I- It is..."

      "If she was someone who date you only for her fame or name, don't you think... That it is better if you break with her?"

       Her words are nothing but facts. I shouldn't be worried about something like that and... I knew already that, Lamy-chan is not someone like that. It is just, that I am still a little bit afraid and traumatized by my past.