Horses and Ryan Blaney

Chapter six

Ryan pov:
Erin and I were driving home from the stables.
"Erin I think you were right." I sigh and look out the window.
"About what?" She asks glancing at me.
"Me being depressed." I don't look at her not wanting to see her pity or her I told you so face.
"Oh Ryan, so are you willing to get help." I shake my head and turn to her.
"No I'm not going to someone." She sighs,
"Fine, but please try to get better." She rubbed my arm, "and tell chase and Bubba." I frowned at her. I reluctantly nodded.

Two days later it was Wednesday and I was again golfing with chase and Bubba. It was kinda awkward between me and chase but bubba who had no idea what happened kept it lively. It was my turn and I hit one pretty bad.
"Well we are not gonna talk about that." I chuckled and walked back to the cart.
"Oh we are gonna talk about it at your wedding and your funeral." Bubba teased. I roll my eyes and sit down. Bubba grabs his club and gets ready to hit.
"You okay?" Chase asks in a low voice so Bubba can't hear, I shake my head,
"Not really." I don't say anything else. Chase puts a arm around me,
"Well coming flying with me would make you feel better." He said hopefully, Chase was always trying to get me to go flying with him, I wasn't a big fan of flying especially in small planes.
"Yeah no I'll pass." I shrugged him off. Bubba swung and hit a good one.
"Show off!" I called to him, he smugly walked back to us,
"And that boys is how you do it." He put his club back. Chase and I look at each other and roll our eyes.
"Please you just got lucky." Chase says. He glances at me,
"Well this is our last hole so let's finish it and then go for lunch." Chase says, Bubba nods, they both look at me,
"Fine, let's just go I've got some butts to whoop." I said.

After we finished golf we went to a small restaurant for lunch, Chase and Bubba both ordered big meals, I got a pretty small meal and was just sitting there not feeling like eating it.
"Okay what's wrong?" Bubba asked putting his fork down and looking at me.
"What?" I asked, he frowns and glances at Chase,
"You haven't eaten any of your food which is strange and you have been acting weird for a couple weeks now." Bubba said, I frowned, I was supposed to tell them and I already told chase something was wrong, I may as well just tell them.
"Yeah okay, I've got a couple problems." I sighed and looked at them, "I've probably got depression, and Chase the other day you were right that fan did say something to me, he said I'm fat and that I'm only driving cause of my last name." They both looked mad,
"Ryan don't listen to the fans, their wrong you are the complete opposite of fat, your to skinny." Bubba said firmly,
"Yeah and your one of the best drivers in nascar period, your not here cause of your last name your here cause of your talent." Chase added.
"I had depression for a bit, it's okay to have depression lots of people get it." Bubba said,
"Wait when was the last time you properly ate?" Chase asked, they both looked at me frowning, I shrugged,
"I don't know, three weeks, maybe more." They both just about hit the roof,
"Ryan that's so unhealthy." Bubba said,
"Your not fat it's okay to eat." Chase said and pushed my plate towards me, I shake my head.
"If I eat I'll throw up." I explained, the thought of food made me feel sick. They both frowned,
"Okay then let's go home." Chase said getting up, he payed and walked out to his truck, Bubba followed, so I followed them both, I was confused why they let it up so easily but was glad they weren't making me eat.

We drive home to chases house, and went in side. Bubba and me collapsed on his couch, while chase disappeared.

He came back in five minutes with  a plate of toast,
"Eat." He instructed handing it to me, I guess I was wrong they were making me eat, I didn't take it.
"No I can't." I whispered, they frowned,
"Take it you don't have to eat the whole thing just a bit." Bubba explained. I frowned and took the plate, I glanced up at them to see them both smiling encouragingly at me, I picked up the piece of toast and took a small bite. I chewed and forced myself to swallow it, my stomach turned, I felt like throwing up, it was gonna make me fat.

I handed back the plate.
"You had one bite." Bubba said,
"I'm gonna be sick if I eat any more." I explained, Chase frowned and gave me back the plate,
"It's not making you fat Ryan, your not at all fat." He said reading me like a book.
"Yes it will." I whispered. Chase took the plate and stuck it on the coffee table. He grabbed my arm and led my to the bath room, Bubba followed. Chase stopped in front of the mirror, he grabbed my shirt and took it off.
"Look at yourself Ryan." I refused to look instead I stared at the ceiling.
"Look Ryan." Chase said again I slowly looked at myself, yup I was fat.
"I'm fat." I whispered, they both frown, Bubba looks close to tears.
"Your not Ryan, I can count every rib, your unhealthy skinny." Chase says wrapping his arms around me. I start to cry into his shoulder.
"I may not look fat but my mind says I am fat, Chase I don't know what to do." He rubs my back.
"Eat a bit, at least half of the toast." He leads me back to the living room and hands me the toast.
"Eat." Bubba says rubbing my back. I take a few bites and eat half before giving up.
"It makes me feel sick." I said softly, I leaned into Chase who was sitting next to me, he wrapped an arm around me.
"I know but it will make you feel better." He said. Bubba stood up.
"I've got to go, text me if you need anything Ryan." He said and walked out.
"Wanna stay here?" Chase asked, I nodded and started to fall asleep next to him.

Chase and Bubba have always been super close friends almost like brothers to me, I knew I could trust them.

A/n:
I am so sorry if you know how to play golf and had to read this, I don't know how golf works.
This book almost has me crying it's so sad.