Strings of Sin

Chapter 7

The black night sky, a nightmare world that shields us, the shining day sky, a waking world that exposes us. I would rather be shielded in the nightmare than accept the truth of the waking world. Those who lie asleep rest in peace, and those who lie awake are always in angst. I hope to lie among the stars one day, far away from any unnatural things, such as their strings, but why must I be alone?

I've never flown so high in the sky, but the sky still appears to be a dark canvas of white specks, unchanging, unlike the energy that is thought to live freely in this fragile world. So cold. So alone. Away from all that can hurt me is my preference. In a nightmare from which I may never awake, I prefer to be.

We live a dream and lie in the sin of nature's hammock, but we... I don't care anymore. There is no point in speaking of a deeper philosophy if it all means nothing. All the communication of all the living gets blown away and rots or goes by as quickly as it comes as a thought or is written down and completely forgotten. Don't think too deep, or you might end up a depressed dragon, heehee.

"I never laid asleep forever," I desire her to say in the waking world. "It's okay to have bad thoughts," I desire them to say in the waking world. "I'll stop hurting you," I desire him to say in the waking world. "I'm ready to lie asleep forever, like her," I desire myself to say in the waking world.

If only it were easy to touch the tip of a rapier to my torn heart. Where would I even start? Quickly stab and push it through my chest until I'm sent to where she'll be always, rip the organs in my chest from my body and let the blood ooze out until I'm sent to where they'll be eventually, dunk my head in water and never come out until I'm sent to where he'll be shortly, throw my talons to my neck, like some do happily, and squeeze until I'm sent to where I'll be lastly.

The waking world is bounded to those who only lay still during a dream, awake now and vow to die alone.

***

"Good morning, Star!" December pounced on Stardom's chest and shook him with uncontrollable talons. "How's my little, nightwing bodyguard... I mean, friend doing this fine morning?"

"I'm doing..." Stardom started a response and stifled his sadness and shook as he did with the saliva in his jaw when he held the S of his next word. "Sad."

"Oh, why?" the curious icewing asked as she examined the nightwing beneath her.

"I'm always sad," Stardom avoided her question and smothered his sadness away in his jar, refusing to take any out for anyone.

"You can't always be sad, you've got to be happy sometime," she said with confusion as she took her talons off of Stardom's chest.

"You can be happy, angry, confused or shocked, but sadness is an emotion that tends to stick with other feelings," Stardom said as he got out of his bed and lifted the now frowning dragon off of him. "I wish it would let go, but it hasn't in the last couple of years..." He dreaded the thought of his mother as he almost gave quantification to his speech. Then, he noticed December's expression. "Sadness is also a contagious emotion that spreads. I am sorry I infected you, Glory."

"What? No..." December sang as she brought a smile back on her face at the sound of acceptance. "I'm only frowning because of sarcasm, Star." She swiftly stopped her drawn-out no and spoke like Stardom was stupid.

"You don't have to lie to me. You can tell me anything, and I won't judge you. I don't care, I've lost my desire to care, I loathe to care," Stardom said to December honestly as he took the sheets on the bed and folded them over to the side where December had slept that night.