Hearts On The Line

Chapter twelve

It's been two weeks since Jackson ran away, two weeks since Miles confessed that he was finding somewhere to get help, and two weeks since I last heard from Lawson. He hasn't been at the school either. Anna says he's out of town with the band, that's what she heard from Henry.

I'm afraid to reach out. I went too far by yelling at him. He didn't deserve it, but I haven't worked up the courage to apologize. Not yet anyway.

I worked the early shift today, now the kids and I are catching up on homework and I'm making dinner. Mom was afraid to leave me, but she left last week. I told her I was fine, which I guess I am.

Jackson is diligently working on something at the kitchen table. I walk over and sit down with some fresh iced tea. I slide a small blue glass over to him. He's in better spirits than he was a few weeks ago and its so nice to see.

"Thanks," he says.

"What are you working on?" I ask.

"I swear I finished my homework. You can check." He holds his hands up in surrender.

I chuckle lightly. "I believe you. So, what's that then."

"Dad said we probably won't see him for a while, and that I need to be on my best behavior for you. He told me to write letters to him when I was feeling anxious or missed him and that you would know where to send it."

Leaning over I attempt to see what he's written, but he slides it back covering it slightly. Miles reached out by text stating that his cousin knew someone who had been to a rehab place. He's starting all the initial paperwork and will hopefully be in soon. He gave me his cousin's address, because he was going to stay with her until it was settled.

"Mmm. Yeah. Don't be upset if he doesn't respond."

"I know." Jackson's eyes sparkle, but he doesn't cry. He's quiet for a few seconds. "Mom?" His voice breaks a little. "I'm sorry."

I touch his shoulder, feeling the sting in my own eyes. "I'm sorry too. I hate that things are the way they are. I am not trying to punish you by keeping you from Dad. That was never my intention. I was trying to protect you and I guess I got carried away with my own feelings. Jackson, I don't want you to hurt anymore, especially if you don't..."

"I know. Dad said I have to be strong. Be the man of the house. I'm sad, Mom. Really sad. I wish he wanted to stay."

The tears fall and with the arm I've got around him I tug him into my grasp. His tiny body trembles against me. "I know, sweetheart. I hate that you're sad. But you, me, and Anna, we got this."

"What about Lawson?" he asks.

I shrug. "I was mean to him when I shouldn't have been."

"So, say you're sorry. You always make me do it."

I laugh, wiping away my tears as I move away from him.

"It's not that simple."

"It is simple. You love him. You were happy. I want you to be happy again. I hate when you're sad."

He's never said anything like that to me before. Leave it to the ten-year-old to be giving me advice.

"You were so sad when Dad left. You cried every day. I heard you. You cry now too. When you think I don't hear you. Especially when you say you have to go to the bathroom. I have ears. I was mad when you kissed Lawson. Thought he was going to take Dad's place but he's not. I know that. Dad said Lawson's not a bad guy."

I almost laugh at that but don't. I'm surprised that Miles said all of this.

"Plus, I want to join a band one day and I want him to teach me everything. Guitar, drums, bass..."