El Mañana - A Bucky Barnes FanFiction-

Couldn't Have You

Baby, we tried to fight it

We all been there some daysThought I needed something elseAnd acted like I was okayWe just had to work it outAnd baby, I needed spaceAin't nobody 'round here on your levelYou're so far away

- Streets, Doja Cat

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Bucky was famished when his first session with the professor had ended, but now he felt nothing but butterflies and he struggled to finish his burrito.

He couldn't stop staring at her. Thankfully she was too immersed in her second burrito for the night while reading up on celebrity gossip to notice. He watched her sitting beside him on the kitchen island. The way a few dark strands of her hair fell over her pretty face. She was grinning goofily down at the magazine with a mouth full of meat and rice wrapped in flatbread. It would have been unappealing if Bucky wasn't experiencing the strangest sense of déjà vu.

He knew it must be a side effect of having his memories probed, but the remembrances were extremely controlled. He was only, suddenly remembering several things about her.

Her favourite food was cheeseburgers, she had her first on one of their missions actually during her handler days. He remembered how he was charmed by her lack of eating etiquette then, which just showed some things never changed.

He remembered a lot more. He was experiencing the same emotions he felt when he knew...his feelings were realized, with a new, deeper, romantic intent.

The apprehension floored him, he felt dizzy and sick but also relieved. These urges and sensations he felt around her made sense. They had a deep connection, he felt grateful for being next to her.

However, he did feel a strange pang in his heart, and his head began to hurt slightly when he tried to remember when they parted. It was as if his own mind had created a defense and he couldn't continue to dwell on such thoughts.

He needed a distraction. His icy gaze softened when he focused his attention on her again.

He needed her.

"I remembered the day we first met."

Joanna was stunned by his sudden announcement, but the moment the words sank in she was curious.

He cracked a grin and the sight made her heart squeeze.

It was too familiar to their past banter. She gulped down the tightness in her throat and stared awaiting his words. She suddenly felt conscious of her sloppy state when he graced her with such a smoldering look of appreciation. It confused her, she felt the need to straighten her posture and wipe away any stains on her face.

"You had your dentures knocked out by Bodgan." He stated she felt her whole body being overcome with shame. They were all alone in the large dining space, he was grateful for the lack of other people which proved a threat unless proved otherwise. It was less stressful, more relaxed, and easy to be himself, or whatever was left. He felt like he could get there somehow if he was talking to her.

"Oh God, I am feeling the second-degree embarrassment." She groaned at the memory of her sixteen-year-old self with no front teeth.

"Those fuckers didn't fix it till I graduated, said I had to earn them. Earn them! If I ever get my hands on those assholes I'll show them what it's like to walk around with no teeth."