The Odd One Out

SS. 10 - Sakayanagi Arisu - Helping Hand

"I guess we're Class B now, fufufu."

I was with Kiyotaka and we had just finished watching the special exam results in my room.

"It seems like it'll be a two horse race between the top two classes."

"How long do you plan on staying in Class D, Kiyotaka?" I asked him with a serious tone.

Kiyotaka promised that he would transfer to our class on his own, but I am yet to see any movement. I always wondered what's going on inside that head of this. Actually, I do have somewhat of an idea. Kiyotaka probably wants to spend his time in Class D answering his own questions. How do humans in the outside world behave? What is their thought process?

"How many times have you asked me this?"

"I'll continue asking you this until you give me a definite answer."

It is true that I keep asking him this, but he never gave me a straightforward answer.

"I can't give you a definite answer, but I'll let you know that I plan on staying in this class for at least the first year."

That's a long time, Kiyotaka. I don't want to wait for you that long.

"Well that's disappointing. I suppose you have your reasons though."

"I do, but once the second year starts, I'll do what I can to make sure my transfer takes place as soon as possible."

"I guess I'll take your word for it, Kiyotaka."

There was no reason to him lie in this situation, and I didn't detect any signs of him lying.

"Why do you want me to join your class so bad, Arisu?"

"I want to spend more time with you, Kiyotaka. I want to dominate this school with you by my side, fufufu... I guess you can say I'm a little obsessed with you."

Kiyotaka, you and I will rule over Tokyo's most prestigious school.

"Obsessed? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it, fufufu. Let's just say I want to graduate from Class A with you by my side."

How can he be so intelligent yet so innocent at the same time?

"I see."

Silence quickly filled the room.

Maybe now is the time to ask him.

"Say, Kiyotaka."

"What is it, Arisu?"

"Have you ever considered learning to feel emotions?"

"Feel emotions? I'm afraid I've long lost the ability to do that, Arisu."

Sigh.

"That might be the case, but why should that stop you from trying?"

"What do you mean?"

"What makes you think that you've lost the ability to feel emotions forever? You said it yourself. You lost that ability a long time ago, but doesn't that mean you can also regain it?"

Indeed. Why did he think that? Losing something means you can find it again. Kiyotaka could learn emotions if he changed his mind about their usefulness or if he was curious about them.

"I don't deem emotions necessary. They're unnecessary for my growth and development."

It's just as I thought, it seems.

"I don't think that's true, Kiyotaka. Emotions are the very thing that help humans develop and mature. Happiness, sadness, frustration, regret. Emotions can be the most beneficial things for human development. They are things the White Room could never teach you, but humans are preprogrammed to feel such things. Are you willing to completely let go of your human nature?"

"I'm not sure."

"Kiyotaka. It's not a bad thing to have emotions. And not only emotions. Acquaintances, friends, or even lovers. It's not bad to have those things, Kiyotaka. They make you feel warmth. People learn of warmth when they touch each other, and that's a very precious thing. The warmth of another human is by no means a bad thing. Please remember that."

Kiyotaka, if only you stopped being overwhelmed by your darkness...

"I'll try to remember that," he said as he stood up, "I'll definitely think about what you said."

If only you could see the glimpse of light that exists in your world of darkness...

Then you would see how colorful the world truly is...

"Leaving so soon?" I asked.

Sigh.

It seems like my embarrassing speech was unconvincing, once again.

"I want to rest a bit. Thanks for everything, Arisu."

I was sad. It seems like my words didn't reach him.

When he looked back, I tried my best to send him off with a smile.

Kiyotaka.

You should give it a try...

Try to experience it...

Warmth...

Happiness...

Sadness...

Frustration...

Love...

I know you want to satisfy your curiosity...

So try to learn those feelings again...

And if you fail...

Then I will give you a helping hand.

********

Author's Notes

This is Arisu's perspective of the scene from Chapter 4.5.

Hope you liked this little short story!