HSMTMTS - Group Chat

Susto

Olivia:

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But somethin' 'bout it felt like home somehow
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house
And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze
We're singin' in the car, getting lost upstate
Autumn leaves fallin' down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days

And I know it's long gone and
That magic's not here no more
And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all
Oh, oh, oh

'Causе there we arе again on that little town street
You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me
Wind in my hair, I was there
I remember it all too well

Photo album on the counter
Your cheeks were turnin' red
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed
And your mother's tellin' stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team
You taught me 'bout your past thinkin' your future was me

And you were tossing me the car keys
Fuck The Patriarchy keychain on the ground
We were always skippin' town
And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now
He's gonna say it's love
You never called it what it was

'Til we were dead and gone and buried
Check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same
After three months in the grave
And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you
But all I felt was shame
And you held my lifeless frame

And I know it's long gone and
There was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night
We're dancin' 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there
I remember it all too well

And there we are again when nobody had to know
You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath
Sacred prayer and we'd swear
To remember it all too well, yeah

Well, maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Runnin' scared, I was there
I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of bein' honest
I'm a crumpled-up piece of paper lyin' here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all

They say all's well that ends well
But I'm in a new hell every time
You double-cross my mind
You said if we had been closer in age
Maybe it would've been fine
And that made me want to die

The idea you had of me, who was she?
A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel
Whose shine reflects on you
Not weepin' in a party bathroom
Some actress askin' me what happened: You
That's what happened: You

You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes
Sippin' coffee like you're on a late-night show
But then he watched me watch the front door all night
Willin' you to come
And he said: It's supposed to be fun
Turning 21

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again
But I'm still tryin' to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it
'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there
I remember it all too well