I'm Really Not Fine At All

6. The Memories I Never Can Escape

Street stood in the cemetery staring at his mother's headstone.

"Hey," a voice said to Street's back.

"What are you doing here?" he asked emotionlessly without turning around.

"Luca said I could find you here. He told me it's the anniversary of your mother's death. I'm so sorry, Street," Chris apologized.

"It's not like we were close or anything," he replied.

"You weren't?"

"No, probably because she spent most of my life in prison for killing my dad," he said.

"That sounds tough. It must have been hard growing up without your parents," she responded, sympathetically.

"I managed in the foster system."

"You grew up in the foster system? Did you have a good placement?"

"Nope. Ended up bouncing around from house to house. Guess no one wanted me."

"I find that hard to believe," she replied kindly.

"Really? Even my own wife doesn't want me," he shot back.

"Low blow," she responded, somewhat annoyed. "Can you please just turn around and look at me?" She added.

"Actually, can you just go?" he asked.

She walked around to face him.

"You've been icing me out for 2 weeks. When are we gonna talk?" Chris inquired desperately.

"Talk about what exactly?"

"Us."

"There is no us," he shot back.

"You don't mean that."

"I stopped wearing my ring, so I think that makes things pretty clear," he replied flatly.

"I noticed...I also noticed you haven't come by the house to get more stuff and make the move out official. You also still have a picture of us in your locker. And, you've been asking around to check up on me," she listed.

"Don't read too much into it. I've been too busy to move out, and I can't control if people tell me how you're doing...If that picture bothers you so much, I'll take it down."

"I didn't say that it bothers me," she said simply and bit her lip.

"What do you want from me, Chris?"

She tried to collect her thoughts and answer his question honestly. "I don't really know. I just know I can't stand the way things are between us now."

"Well, what about what I want?"

"What do you want, Street?" She asked desperately.

"My best friend back. More than anything. I miss her so much."

The way his voice was so raw made Chris wish that she could bring that version of Chris back just to take his pain away. Just to give him the one thing he wanted so badly.

"What do you think she'd say about this situation?" Chris asked nervously.

He cracked a smile at the thought and said, "Probably she'd start by saying that I'm being stubborn. And she'd probably tell me to have a little faith."

"Seems like she's pretty smart."

"She is," he beamed.

"What do you think would have happened if the roles were reversed and you were the one with amnesia?"