Still Yours

Prologue

I was always afraid of the end. Scared that I'd lose him. That he'd leave me. That one day, I'd have to live without him. After all, that's just what it's like when you love someone with all your heart, so much it drives you crazy, so much you feel like losing your goddamn mind whenever they only look at you. And when they kiss you! When he kissed me. God, I miss his kisses. How he chuckled into them like a high school boy. I miss him. So fucking much. I wanted to be with him forever, until we'd die.

For fuck's sake, I wanted to be the first to go.

I never thought it would end like this. I never dared to imagine I'd lose him that way.

From the late July night that we first met, there hadn't been a single day on which I didn't hear his voice, didn't see his face. Not a single day without him. Not a single day without my Niall. Everlasting sunshine, no matter the weather.

I used to say that living with him was too good to be true. Endless summer. Just like a dream.

Living without him is reality brutally biting through what's left of your hollow, broken heart with sharp teeth, and waking up in an empty bed, wishing you wouldn't have woken up at all, gasping for air with burning lungs and hopelessly reaching out for him to hold you, just to remember that he's gone.

Gone forever.

My Niall is never going to come back to me.

And I've got a hole in my chest and there's ghosts of a past that I try so hard not to forget haunting this empty house and it's summer again, but the sun doesn't shine.

I miss him. I miss him, I miss him, I miss him.

I always will.