Broken Mind

Chapter 11

Raph found himself alone in a vast darkness covered in a blanket of fog. "Hello?" He asked tentatively. His eyes scanned his unfamiliar surroundings. "You failed me." A voice in the darkness said. "Leo?" Raph asked as he recognized the voice. He turned around to see his older brother still wearing his Foot Clan regalia. When Raph got closer he let out a shocked gasp. Leo's body was dripping and covered with blood. "Leo what happened to you?" Raph asked scared his brother was in pain. "You failed me! Why didn't you save me?!" Leo yelled angrily. "We're gonna save you I promise!" Raph tried to assure. "I bet you're glad I'm gone." Leo snarled. "No never!" Raph retaliated. "Now you get to be in charge just like you always wanted!" Leo yelled. "No, I know I'm not cut out for leadership! I can't handle that responsibility like you!" Raph said his voice starting to shake. "How long will it be until you fail the others?" Leo asked in a mocking tone. "What?" Raph asked. "Donnie? Mikey? Even father? Who will you fail next? Who will you let suffer next?" Leo shouted. "No! I won't let anything else happen!" Raph cried shaking his head. He covered his ears trying to block out Leo's words. "You're a failure! All of this is your fault! All of it! You failed me!" Leo yelled getting louder with each word. "No!" Raph sobbed. Raph suddenly jolted awake. He looked around and found himself still in Leo's room. He'd must've fallen asleep on his bed. "Just a nightmare." Raph told himself. He tried to stand, his legs felt wobbly. He nearly tumbled over but he grabbed the desk to stay upright. Several Space Heroes figures that were on display toppled over. Raph quickly fixed them back up. "Sorry Leo." He muttered as he did so. A cough left his throat. His mouth felt dry. He made his way to the kitchen I search of a glass of water. He paused as he passed the dojo. He could hear a voice on the other side of the walls. He slid the door open a sliver and peeked his head in. He saw Master Splinter still awake and speaking to himself. "You can do this Yoshi." Splinter said to himself unaware his son was listening. He began to recite the healing mantra once more. His hands formed a triangle shape as he held them in front of his chest. He pushed out his arms as he finished the spell. Raph felt a small gust of wind as the spell was completed. Splinter sighed and ran a hand down his furry face. "I fear it is not powerful enough." He said sounding dejected. Raph let out a cough, alerting his father of his presence. "Raphael what are you doing awake?" Splinter asked surprised. His second oldest son usually slept like a rock. "Oh I was just um thirsty." Raph said. It was at least partially true. Splinter could sense that his son was not telling him everything. "What is wrong?" He asked concerned. "Nothing!" Raph attempted to lie. "Raphael you know better than to try and lie to me. I raised you, I can always tell when you are not speaking the truth." Splinter said.  Raph sighed averting his eyes. "Just a nightmare." Raph confessed. Splinter gestured in front of him for Raph to sit. "I just feel like such a failure." Raph said as he sat. "A failure?" Splinter asked edging him on. "I failed to protect my brother! If I'd been better then Leo would've never been taken! He wouldn't be suffering." Raph said his voice breaking off at the end. "Raphael, you can not blame yourself for this. None of you could have known what the Shredder was planning." Splinter told him. "I try to tell myself that but I just get so angry and frustrated. And now I've been taking it out on all of you." Raph said burying his face in his hands. Splinter pulled his son's hands away from his face. He tilted his chin up forcing him to look him in the eyes. "My son, I am sure your brothers understand that you are just overwhelmed and are not hurt. I certainly am not." Splinter reassured him. Raph gave him a grateful smile. "You are a wonderful person and a skilled warrior. You protect your family but there is only so much one can do. Do not beat yourself up over this." Splinter said patting his son on the shoulder. Raph wrapped his father in a sudden hug. "Thanks father." Raph mumbled into Splinter's robe. Splinter pulled his son close in an embrace. It was rare for Raph to show his intimate emotions so Splinter would cherish every moment of it. "You are welcome my son" Splinter said stroking the back of his red boy's head. They stayed like that for a long moment before pulling back. A light blush of embarrassment covered Raph's cheeks. "Now, I recommend you go get your rest. You will need all your energy for the coming battle." Splinter said. "Alright but you don't stay up too late either." Raph said as he left. Splinter chuckled at his son's words. Raph stopped at the kitchen before going back to his room. He filled a plastic cup with water from the sink before making his way back. He sipped at the room temperature liquid as he walked. Raph found himself pausing Leo's doorway once more. He ran his hand along the side of the door frame. "We're gonna get you back Leo. I promise." Raph said with determination.