They didn't talk about it for two whole days... In fact, they hardly spoke to one another at all, which was incredibly rare for them at that point in their marriage.
They had spent years working out their problems- healing from the things that broke them, and moving on from the things they couldn't change. It wasn't easy- it never had been and it wasn't promised to be. But they did it, or at least they really tried, and either way, that was enough for them.
However, this was different... this was unlike anything they'd dealt with in almost two decades.
"She's so sweet, Clancy." Stevie assured with a soft laugh. "She's very tiny, and she has just the bluest eyes." She recalled, a prominent smile spread across her face. "And Lola is already just amazing with her." She added, very proud of the girl that had said, a million times over that she would never be a mother.
That gentle laugh filled the phone, causing the older woman to smile a little brighter. "I can't wait to meet her." Clancy had the softest- sweetest voice.
It didn't matter what was happening in the world around them- when Stevie spoke to her youngest, everything felt right in the universe.
"And she picked such a fabulous name...Alice." she lingered, listening to her mother giggle on the other end. "I bet dad just loves it, too." She stated, almost certain that he was going to be the best grandpa around.
Stevie didn't mean to, but she let out a soft sigh as her heart sank instantly, and her mind traveled back to her husband.
He had locked himself in his studio a few hours earlier, which is the same place he'd spent most of his time in the couple of days, prior... He'd even slept out there one night, just so he wouldn't have to speak to his wife.
"Of course," she nodded her head softly, trying hard not to make it obvious that she'd already stopped smiling. "All the way to the hospital the other day, we argued over who was going to hold her first." She forced a laugh, hoping it sounded even slightly convincing.
"That's sweet." Luckily the unenthusiastic tone in her mothers voice went right over Clancy's head, which really didn't happen often.
"Yeah..." Stevie really hated that she couldn't talk about what was happening in their lives, especially to Clancy. "Well, I have to go, honey. I'm having coffee with Sharon." She had to lie- she just couldn't chit chat and make small talk much longer.
"Oh, okay." Clancy creased a brow lightly. "Well, tell daddy that I love him and I'll see you all next week." She added, biting down on her lower lip softly.
"I love you, sweet girl." Stevie didn't want to hang up- she never did, but she also couldn't keep talking without telling her... They shared everything.
Clancy had lived at home with her parents up until six months earlier, when she took a job all the way in Paris for design.
Her and her mom were best friends. They did it all together- shopping, nails, hair appointments, Clancy even went on tour, working lighting and sound. They were inseparable, but that was probably because Stevie had spent a lot of years shielding her from the harsh truths.
Clancy knew nothing- she was far too young to remember it, which is what made this all so much harder.
"I love you, momma."
~~~
Lindsey had been staring up at the ceiling for over an hour- watching the blade on the fan spin in circles.
He had intended on getting some work done, but once he laid down on the leather sofa, and started to think, all ambition he had was out the window.
He wasn't in denial- he wished he could be, but it wasn't possible... Stevie was right, Vivian did look just like him.
But that didn't mean he was ready for that... He didn't want to go through it, which might sound selfish, but it was true.
He hadn't even thought about Carrie, or the mistakes he'd made in a lot of years.
None of it mattered anymore. They'd worked so hard to fix their problems and be better for each other, yet there they were- almost nineteen years later and back in the same slump.
But this time, it felt worse... It felt like this could be what would really ruin his marriage, which was his worst fear.
"Lindsey?" Her voice filled the air right before three soft knocks on the wooden door, which pulled him back into reality.
Pushing himself up to sit, he ran his fingers through his curls, trying to make it look like he hadn't just been lounging around. "Come in, baby." He really wasn't sure why she'd knocked to begin with...
Pushing open the door slowly, her eyes scanned over the cluttered room as she slipped in from outside. "Uh," she cleared her throat, eyes finally meeting his. "I just talked to Christine- she said, she couldn't get ahold of you out here, but she was wondering if you wanted to do dinner in a few days to discuss your album." She announced with a faint shrug. "I told her that you would call her back and-"
"Are you okay, Steph?" He had to cut off the rambling- he could tell that she was nervous and upset... They'd been married forever- he could see right through it.
She wrinkled her forehead, tears lingering in her eyes as she shook her head. "No..." she admitted, vision blurring a moment later. "Are you?" She wasn't sure how he could be.
He stood up, holding out his arms as he headed towards her. "It's gonna be okay." He wrapped her up immediately, one hand resting on her back as the other got lost in her blonde curls.
Her head met his chest, biting down on her bottom lip that was nearly trembling. "What are we going to do?" When she said we, it felt like a ton of weight had been lifted off his shoulders...
He needed her and to know that she was willing to go through it with him was a sigh of relief, really.
He pulled away slowly, but only far enough to look into those deep brown eyes. "Will you go with me if I meet her for lunch?" He couldn't go alone- he didn't want to.
She paused for a second, eyes scanning over his face. "Of course, I will." She assured as she slowly leaned in to capture his lips with hers. "Of course." She repeated against his mouth.
