HER

6

By the age of eighteen Laila had learned to live with what was given to her. She stopped caring if her family noticed her or not. If they remembered her birthday or not. Her existence turned silent, hidden from prying eyes of world. Well she tried to hide from world but there was this one thing.

Laila had grown into beautiful girl. Puberty hit her right on spot. Her once chubby cheeks popped out in right places now. Honey eyes complemented her porcelain white skin. She grew taller and slender.

A perfect example of those cheap asian standards.

And that attracted too much attention for the girl who now wanted nothing more to do with this world.

"You know you are the most prettiest one in our family." Dur-e-Fishan looked at her sister, slightly envious of her beauty yet very happy for her. Her sister had grown pretty and smart even without anyone's attention.

And that broke Dur-e-Fishan's heart.

All this time she couldn't be there for her little sister. Her own insecurities, depression and disease could not allow her to pay attention to the innocent one in front of her.

Circumstances made all of them fall apart from her yet Dur-e-Fishan felt like it was whole family's fault.

Now she tried to be there for her little sister but what she didn't know that it was too late now.

Dur-e-Fishan tried hard to be there for her sister but Laila had flew much far away in her own world.

Laila had come home with what life served her with. She now finally understood that no one was going to be there for her except her own self. Demons still played with her but what changed was that she now danced with them in dark.

Azlan became a memory to her.

A page in book of her fucked up life.

Her own dirty little secret which she kept hidden away from world.

Time to time she would think of the boy whom this world failed. Sometimes he would haunt her dreams. She would jerk awake shaking his face away from her mind. Sometime he would pop in her mind just like that.

Like he wanted to be remembered by her.

Azlan was someone who listened to her. No, she never harboured romantic feeling for the boy who felt too much.

But that boy yet still haunted a dark corner of her tainted heart.

How could she forget someone who gazed at stars along with her.

How could she forget when she was too familiar with the pain of being forgotten.

Laila remembered Azlan till this day even though she never saw him after that night. She went to his house and found it locked.

She just wanted a closure.

But the boy went away without giving her satisfaction of that. God knows where he went, when he went.

He just disappeared.

He became a memory tainted with stain of passing time.

A figment of light just before darkness prevailed.

A ghost in her life.

She moved forward with life. Laughed with people whom she resented so much. Cried in dark alone at night.

Danced at 12Am with music in her mind.

World was failing her too but people were too blind to see that.

She was getting ready to go to her cousin's wedding. Her sisters compliments only made a bile rose in her throat.

Being pretty mean getting attention and she didn't need that from world. It made her want to hide away in dark corner of her room now.

Where was the girl who could do anything just for little attention?

At the wedding she tried to avoid every sort of social contact but it felt like an impossible task to do so. It was a co-wedding and she could feel eyes of her male cousins on her.

Women asked about her yet she couldn't give a single damn about them.

"Laila haven't you gone too weak? " It was the same cousin's mother who had called her fat. "Look at all bones poking out of your skin. Eat more child."

Her eyes traveled to the same cousin who averted her eyes away from her making her chuckle a little.

She wanted to throw a sarcastic remark but felt too lazy to do so. So she excused herself and walked away from the mother daughter duo.

It was then her eyes landed on certain brown ones who stared back at her at the same time making her freez on spot.

And it had to be that goddamned time her nausea had to hit her hard making her run toward washroom.