my saving grace

-3-

warning: case material and hostage negotiation, unsub is homophobic

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You woke up in the morning unsure of were you where, You lifted your head and realised you were still laying cuddled into Emily. All of last nights memories came flooding back and you felt so guilty that Emily basically had to look after you as if you were a kid.

You got up and went into the bathroom taking a quick shower and then brushing your teeth you looked in the mirror and you looked awful, you had red circles around your eyes from crying and rubbing them so much the night before.

When you walked back into the room Emily was stirring so you tried your best to be quiet and not wake her up. "Morning honey" You heard Emily speaking behind you "Sorry did I wake you?" "No you didn't it's okay" She patted the bed next to her and you go lay beside her, she turns on her side looking at you but you stare at the ceiling.

"How are you feeling this morning" She asked "I mean I feel like I can finally breathe like not just in a literal sense *you laugh* but like in a mental way *you take a deep breath* It felt like for years I just couldn't breathe and seeing her last night meant I could finally breathe again, I don't know if making sense here but when you have lost contact with the literal love of your life no way of knowing if their actually alive or not like it really mentally fucks you up but now I can finally breathe" You let out a huge sigh turning around to face her.

"I understand completely it's a natural response and it is absolutely horrible but I am so glad you two managed to talk about it though, how do you think you will move on from here?" She questions you "I mean I think I can definitely be friends with her I mean although I'm always going to have love for her if she asked I don't think I could ever get back together with her" You say shifting your position.

Emily puts her hand on your cheek her thumb gently stroking your cheekbone you share an intense moment of eye contact smiling at each other and you feel butterflies swarming your stomach, why am I feeling this? you think to yourself looking away from Emily.

"Are you okay?" Emily asks "Yeah, uh I'm fine" You lie giving a half smile "Y/N did you forget I'm a profiler? so tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours" Emily smiles.

You immediately get embarrassed and try think of a lie but I end up blurting it out "I just got really intense butterflies and uhm yeah" you reply fast and Emily smiles at you and she leans forward whispering in your ear "I did too" then she gets out bed winking at you walking to the bathroom and you are sat on the bed trying to collect your thoughts.

You and Emily both got ready and went to the hotel lobby and waiting for everyone after ten minutes everyone had arrived and you went about your day attempting to catch the unsub.

~

Your team and the swat team where outside an address Garcia had gave you and you could see the unsub had a female victim in the household, someone had to go in unarmed to attempt to talk him down you done a lot of hostage negotiation training so you took off your gun badge and vest and went up to the door.

You put your hands up and slowly walked inside "put your hands in the fucking air" the unsub shouted "Look, my hands are up and I am unarmed" You spoke clearly walking further inside.

He turns his body and has the gun facing your head in your mind you are completely freaking out but your face is almost emotionless making sure he can't sense your fear in anyway because what he feeds on is fear from his victims.

"Mr Johnson can you please put the gun down and we can talk about this calmly?" You ask him "This women has to die she is a sinner" He shouts "How is she a sinner sir?" You ask calmly "She is in a relationship with a women! she is going against god, she is deliberately going against the nature of a man and a women being in a relationship this right here is the work of the devil, same sex relationships is a major sin" He shouts pointing the gun at her head.

"and what being a murderer isn't a sin?" You get a bit triggered by his comment and forget all your hostage training you got taught "what did you just say?" He asks turning round slowly "Are you also a sinner?" He asks quietly, you quickly put the answer you want to say out your mind for the sake of you two women actually getting out of here alive "No, sorry sir I am not a sinner but please put the gun down" You say.

He walks closer to you gun inches away from your face and you don't know where the confidence came from but once he looked away you managed to smack the the gun from his hand twist his arm around his back and get him to the floor but the gun shot whilst doing this and less than a few seconds later everyone came running through the door.

Morgan and Reid went to the women Hotch, JJ and Emily rushed over to you to get the unsub handcuffed and took out "are you okay?" Emily asks putting a hand on your shoulder "I'm okay" You say wiping your face.

The unsub got put behind bars and you and the team were on the jet back home, everyone admired how brave you were going in alone on the first day of your job and they admired your bravery even though hotch did advise against it but you weren't going to let it get any further.

The rest of the flight was peaceful everyone had fell asleep, well, apart from you and Emily you guys sat chatting the entire jet back and it was surprisingly nice
finally the jet lands and everyone wakes up and you finally could go home.

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I don't know how I feel about this chapter but hey ho anyways as always take care and stay safe ~ love C x