My Secret Savior (Jean x Reader) (modern)

Chapter 12

I decided to check out on Jean to see if he was actually playing with my feelings or not. I noticed how much he liked to spend his time with Sasha and Connie and also how much he enjoyed talking with the girl named Mikasa. It was clear that he had feelings for her since I noticed many times his cheeks turning red just because she was making eye contact with him.
Everytime it happened I could feel my stomach squirm with jealousy. He didn't talk to me for the whole first day and this was making the blood boil in my veins. I couldn't stand the fact that he played with me only because he had that flirty behaviour Eren told me about. In the end, Jean was exactly like any other man. And I couldn't deny that I was really disappointed.

                                    ***

I had been the first to wake up. I tried to sneak out from my room, that I had to share with the girl named Hitch, to go out and breath some fresh air, sitting comfortably on the bench in the garden.
I took my book to read a bit and spend some time by myself.

Outside, the fresh mountain morning air was running towards the garden like a wild horse, making the blades of grass and the flowers shake under its speed. The only noises I could hear were the chirping of the birds and the sound of some crickets that were playing among the grass. The soft wind caressed many times my face and I closed my eyes to relax and let myself be dominated by its freshness, letting all my problems slip away taken by the wind.
I opened my book, taking off the bookmark from the page I was arrived at and putting it at the end, between the cover and the last page. I started to read, letting my mind fly away and collide with different worlds, characters, places, feelings, words. I let my eyes slide along the black letters like roller skates on a track, feeling completely immersed in the world I didn't belong to, while my lips were constantly moving from a smile to an expression of wonder, from a straight line to a disgusted arc.

My reading ended when I heard some footsteps from the inside of the house. Someone else was awake and was now leading towards the garden were I was.
I raised my head when the person exited from the main door, stretching the arms and the back to fully wake up.
My eyes followed the body of the slander figure I had at my side until they reached those hazel eyes.
Jean turned his head to look at me, smiling softly.
"Hey, baby! Already awake?" he asked, leaning his shoulder against the door hole.
I nodded without smiling.
"Yeah. Anyway, stop calling me like that" I said, pointing my eyes on my book, taking the bookmark and closing it.
"Calling you what?" he asked, confused.
I looked at him.
"You know what. Baby, beautiful, sweetheart... just stop" I said, trying to look at him after those days of not even hearing from him. It was so difficult, particularly after the realisation of being in love with him.
Jean gave me a confused look.
"What do you mean? Why do you say these things?" he asked.
I turned my head to look at the grass in front of me.
"You pissed me off with your behaviour. I know what you're trying to do" I said, while I was feeling some tears come up to my eyes.
"I'm not following you... is there something wrong?" He asked.
I quietly nodded, moving my glance at the other side so Jean wouldn't have noticed the little drops of tears fulfilling my eyes.
"Talk to me, please. Did I make you mad somehow?" He asked, walking towards the bench and putting his hand on my back.
"Why... why do you play with me?" I asked between the tears.
"P-play with you?! What do you mean?" He asked, taking his hand back from my shoulder.
I sobbed. Fuck. I didn't want him to notice I was about to cry. I never cried for a man. Fuck you, Jean Kirschtein.
"Why do you treat me like if I was nothing?" I asked, the salty tears running along my cheeks.
"What the fuck are you talking about?!" He exclaimed, his eyebrows furrowed.
I turned my head to look at him. I was crying and I couldn't stop but I didn't care.
"What am I to you, Jean?! What?!" I asked, screaming at him from my bench.
Jean's eyes widened and I noticed his eyebrows raise up in a shocked expression.
He didn't answer, he just remained there looking at me crying.
I turned my head to look at the grass.
"I knew it... I am nothing to you..."
"Y/N... what-"
"Shut up!" I turned my head again towards him "I don't wanna hear you or see your fucking face anymore!"
Said this I stood up from my chair and walked towards the door to get into the house. Jean grabbed my fist making me turn to look at him.
"Y/N..."
His hazel eyes were shining and his eyebrows were furrowed in a worried expression.
"I'm sorry if I made you cry... why don't you just tell me what's wrong so I can remedy..."
I turned my head away.
"You. You are the problem. I thought we were friends or... But then I discovered you just played with me and that the only girl in your mind in that Mikasa... I just wonder why I fell so easily in your game... me! I hate men and their stupid behaviour and then... I am the one that remained stucked in a boy's game... Now, leave me alone"
I didn't wait for Jean's reply. I moved my fist to let him let go of me and then I walked inside of the house without turning my head to look at him for not even a second.