My Secret Savior (Jean x Reader) (modern)

Chapter 14

Jean seemed to don't remember anything from the past night, he was probably too drunk, and I surely didn't want to make him think about it.

During our last day of vacation we all decided to go for a soft trekking to see some animals in a farmhouse. I took many pictures and I enjoyed my time laughing with the others and talking animatedly. I tried to forget everything that happened but anytime my eyes were on Jean I couldn't think of anything else than 'did he actually mean what he said? Or was it just a thing due to the amount of alcohol in his body?'.

                                     ***

Those three days passed really quickly and soon we were all going back to the city, living again our normal lives.

I spent a few days at Jean and Marco's house just because I wanted to spend some time with my best friend since I hadn't been able to talk much with him at the mountains.
I was going over the happenings of that night and now I was starting to see Jean as a friend. Or at least this was my goal.

Anyway, he often asked me what was wrong with me in the past days and also why I yelled at him that morning in the mountain house. I never replied to any of his questions but I couldn't continue this way.

                                     ***

Marco was at work and I was at his house alone with Jean. Again the flashbacks of that night were passing through my mind and I couldn't cover my thoughtful expression anytime it happened.
I sighed.

"Is everything ok?" asked Jean, that was sitting next to me on the blue couch, reading a book.
I smiled.
"Yeah..." I simply answered, looking casually away.
"You can talk to me, you know?"
"It's nothing" I insisted.
"Then will you tell me what is my problem?" he asked, putting away his book.
I sighed.
"Again with this story? Can we forget it, please?" I said, looking sadly at him.
Jean forced a smile.
"Fine. But only if you tell me what is wrong with you"
I shrugged.
"I just should stop thinking about some men..." I said.
Jean sat closer to me. My muscles tensed suddenly. Anytime he was reaching a certain closeness I couldn't contain my body from tensing. I bet he noticed because he looked at me, confused. Anyway, he seemed to pass over it.
He smirked.
"How can you say you still hate men when you talk with them like if they were your friends?" He asked.
"You are my friend. Marco is my friend. I just generalize when I talk about men..." I said, while my legs were starting to tremble from the closeness.
Jean chuckled.
"If I am your friend why are you so tense and why do you keep avoiding me?" he asked, his usual cocky smile on his face.
I looked away, not answering.
Jean sighed, smiling, then he stood up from the couch and walked behind me. I was so tense from his presence that I could feel my body starting to hurt.

I turned my head to see where he was going.
Jean was standing behind me and, as he noticed I had turned my head to look at him, he quickly hid his hands behind his back.
I looked at him, confused.
"What were you trying to do?" I asked.
"Nothing!" He simply said, forcing a smile.
"Where you trying to scare me or something?" I asked, suspicious.
Jean simply shook his head.

I sighed and pointed my head again towards the black tv.
"Ok, I admit it, I'm tense. You are my friend but sometimes-"

I didn't end my phrase. I felt a pair of hands touching my shoulders. Their fingers started to go up and down, in and out my skin in a harmonious movement. My back shivered under the sweet touch of that massage.
I was feeling my heart beating faster while my muscles were slowly relaxing while being dominated by those hands.
No words left my mouth. I remained on the couch under the control of those hands for almost five minutes.

Then, the hands moved near my collar, at the beginning of my back, but never stopped that movement. The thumb was going in and out, up and down... I could feel all the fingers caress the back of my nape, as delicate as a feather.
This time all my body shivered under that touch.
"J-Jean..." I stammered.
No answer.
I tilted my head back to look up at his face. Jean was looking at me. He wasn't smiling but I could see his eyes shine in a strange way.
His hands stopped moving.
"Do you feel better?" he asked.
I nodded.
I wasn't able to say anything, my heart was beating in a super speed and I was feeling a strange sensation in my stomach, like if it was empty and full at the same time.

"Are you blushing?" asked Jean, smirking a bit.
I quickly turned my head to look away.
"Don't be silly!" I answered "I am not!"
I heard Jean chuckle from behind the couch.
I crossed my arms, holding myself into Jean's sweater. He gave it to me earlier because, even if it was the end of summer, outside everyone was freezing like in full autumn and inside the houses weren't any better. The sweater was smelling just like him, or at least just like the perfume he used to use. I could feel it all over his clothes and also everytime he was particularly close to me and I couldn't deny that just the smell of it could make me go crazy.
"Where did you learn to do massages so well?" I asked, continuing to avoid his glance.
"I don't know. I think it's a natural talent" he said, chuckling a bit.

Then I heard him move away from behind the couch and sit again next to me. He let himself collapse on the couch and his left arm fell behind my back.
"What were you saying, anyway?" He asked, turning his head to look at me.
I looked at him, chuckling.
"Nothing too important. Just that... I probably tense near you because of my deep dislike towards men" I said, smiling.
"Do you dislike me?" he asked.
I quickly shook my head.
"No, not you but... even before our journey..." I sighed, before continuing "some days before I met my ex, Reiner. He still tried to make out with me and he tried to undress me even if he perfectly knew I didn't want to... I'm just thinking that I'll probably never find someone really good, that will love me for what I am" I explained.
"Do you actually think that nobody will ever love you?" he asked, looking at me with wide eyes.
"I- I don't know... the only men I fell for were jerks"
"This is because you fell for the wrong ones"
"I dated 3 fucking men" I said, looking sadly at him "how can I be so unlucky to only pick up the wrong ones?"
Jean smirked strangely at me.
"Are you still seeing someone now?" he asked.
I blinked my eyes. I wasn't understanding the question.
"No. Why?"
Jean smiled even more.
"So you dated the wrong ones" he said.
I looked badly at him.
Jean laughed.
I pushed him softly.
"Shut up, Kirschtein" I said, smiling a bit, even if I knew he was right.
Jean laughed even more.

When he stopped, he looked at me, then he caressed my head. The look in is eyes was sweet and caring and a strange light was filling them.
I could feel Jean's fingers run through my hair. My heart started to beat faster and I felt my cheeks burning.
"Y/N..." he whispered.
His hand moved from my head to my cheek and started to caress it sweetly, moving his thumb up and down along my skin.
I wanted to look away from his eyes because I was feeling the butterflies in my stomach dancing and flying everywhere and my heart was beating like crazy, but at the same time I wanted to maintain my look on him. I didn't know what to do.
"Someone loves you, I'm sure about it" he whispered.
Jean put his hand again behind my head and started to get closer to me. He slowly started to pull my head closer to his face.
My heart was beating so fast that I believed Jean could hear it doing 'bum bum' against my chest.
I started to get closer to him.

I watched for a bit his face coming closer to mine, his ash blonde air sweetly falling on his forehead like little golden threads shining under the light of the lamp dangling from the ceiling.
I closed my eyes.
I was so close that I could feel Jean's warm breath against the skin of my face, making me shiver many times. I could already imagine the sensation of his lips against mine and just the thought of it was making my heart beat so fast. I wanted his sweet and soft lips on me, I wanted to try the taste of his mouth and see again how much passion he was hiding behind his cocky behaviour.

I felt Jean's lower lip sweetly touch mine. My stomach jumped and danced. A little longer and our lips would have been glued to each others as I eagerly tried the taste of his kisses.

"Jean! Y/N! I'm home!"

I immediately pulled Jean away from me and sat on the couch back where I was before.
Marco entered in the house. What a shame...