flashbacks in a film reel || tayjoe

voicemail ~ pt. 1

"Hey, you've reached Joe Alwyn. Thanks for calling, I'm probably out right now but you can just call back anytime."

"Hey Joe, it's me, Taylor. I'm still in London for a few weeks. I left you another voice mail a few days ago but I don't know if you got it, but um, I'd love to meet up and reconnect while I'm here. Please give me a call back." Taylor dropped her phone on the firm hotel couch cushion, silently cursing herself. Please? Why would I say please? Now I just sound even more desperate. Fuck.

She tapped her knee nervously, glancing down at her phone every few seconds as if Joe would call her back this soon. Realistically, he'd never call her back. Deep down she knew he was ignoring her. It wasn't a coincidence that whenever she called he just happened to not be home. But she didn't know why. They had broken up seven years ago for god's sake. She'd thought that by now they'd be mature enough to forgive, forget, and move on.

Yet here she was, sitting on the couch, impatiently waiting for his call. Just like old times.

-   flashback: are you real?     -

Taylor sat by the phone giddily. She had been waiting for the past twenty minutes, expecting Joe's call at any moment. It was practically ritual now, when they weren't at each other's houses they'd call nightly. They could talk for hours, their calls sometimes continuing on until four or five in the morning. It was rather insane how much they were willing to give up for each other.

He was the one. She's only twenty, but she knows he's the one. He's perfect. They're both studying literature at Bristol, Taylor in her third year and Joe in his second. He's wicked clever, witty, and can make Taylor fall over laughing at any given moment. Not to mention he's stunning as well. Perfection.

ring. ring. ring.

Taylor fumbled to pick up the phone, excitedly hitting the green accept button. "Hey," She said softly, trying to play it cool.

She could practically hear Joe smile through the other line, "Hey."

-    present day    -

Taylor grimaced at the memory, and began to cringe at how she was acting. Like a silly love-stricken college girl. Throwing her phone onto the bed, she grabbed her purse. She was going out.

"Hey Joe, it's me, Taylor. I'm still in London for a few weeks. I left you another voice mail a few days ago but I don't know if you got it, but um, I'd love to meet up and reconnect while I'm here. Please give me a call back."

Joe listened to the message over and over. Her voice had deepened more than when he had known her. It suited her. He sat on the tube, airpods sitting snugly in his ears. Listening to the voice message one more time, he swiped left to delete it. He wanted to meet up with her, he really did. But he knew he couldn't. These last seven years had been hell for him. Failure after failure, let down after let down. He was finally getting over and getting his life together, and he couldn't let her waltz back into his life and break that all down again. She held too much power over him, they both knew that.

"Now Arriving: Crouch End Broadway," The automated voice called out over the intercom, snapping Joe out of his thoughts. Slipping his phone into his back pocket he walked up the tube steps towards the daytime light. Dark clouds were overhead, and he cursed himself for not bringing an umbrella. Quickly making his way into the small express Tesco, he headed straight for the alcohol aisle.

Taylor opened the heavy Tesco door, purse hung over her shoulder and umbrella resting at her side. Not caring to pick up a shopping cart, she headed towards the produce section. How pathetic am I? She thought solemnly, picking through their selection of apples. She had been in London for a month for a work trip and all she'd managed to do was have the same mundane life she had back in LA. Work on her newest book, make no progress, go to the grocery store, end up eating leftovers, sleep, repeat. Sighing, she plopped a few apples into her bag.