ℐ𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊， 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊．．．| 𝘕𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘍𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘭𝘪𝘯 ¹

𝟔 - 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Thomas POV

You know, I can just picture what you're thinking: "Nothing that could happen today could ever be as bad as what happened last time.", right? Right? I mean, you know me: it always gets worse and worse. I don't think we need to recap one of the worst days of my life, right? Perfect, so let's just move on. Looking back at those times I guess that what really drove me to the absolute breaking point were two specific occurrences, and the effects they had on me and my feelings. I imagine it's time that I finally tell you about the first one.

The next morning I woke up feeling...well, like shit, as always. But this time, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't manage to get up from bed, do my morning routine or my daily workout. The day before I was excited to finally tell Nadine about my feelings, to finally let out everything that I've been keeping to myself for all those years, but...that message really made me rethink it. What were the chances of me succeeding? If she was really into me, then why hadn't she already acted on it? Nadine has always been a direct person, so when she wanted something she didn't need to be encouraged to move her ass and get it. If she had the chance to hook up with that douchebag she calls "the hottest guy at school", she would take it. The same couldn't be said about me. Blame my childhood, blame my insecurity, blame whatever you want, but I sucked at just taking what I wanted: I was way too much preoccupied with overthinking everything that was happening to me to notice that what I wanted was at my reach, and that stretching my arm and just grasp it was all it would take. Of course the lack of noise coming from my room and my lack of moving worried my sister, which steps I clearly heard approaching from behind my closed door. She knocked two times before calling me

Krista: "Tommy? Tommy, are you awake?"

It took just a second for me to reply with my blank and bored voice

Thomas: "I don't even know if I'm still alive, sister."

She must've understood the reason behind my grumpy tone was what happened yesterday, but she still didn't know about my love situation, so I can't say that she completely understood me, yet it wasn't her fault

Krista: "Tommy, I promise you, today is going to be better. C'mon, get up, big bro."

But I wasn't having any of the cuteness she emanated with that nickname, and answered with the same tone

Thomas: "Let me die alone, Krista, you shouldn't see me like this."

A few seconds of silence passed before she replied

Krista: "C'mon, Nadine's going to be there, it's the perfect chance to renew our common vow: 'till death do us part, remember?"

But, again, I wasn't having that, so I answered

Thomas: "I'm not in the mood to see Nadine. Plus, the argument is between you two: I'll leave it to you."

I know she was weirded out by me not wanting to see her, but she didn't ask further. It's a twins thing: sometimes we sense something is off. Instead, she replied with a bit lower tone

Krista: "Do you really want to stay here with our parents?"

She was obviously hinting at their beating, but honestly in that moment I didn't much care

Thomas: "It's okay: they had their fun the other day, dad fucked and came home late last night and mom drank herself to sleep, she'll have a huge ass hungover. I'll be good."

I heard her sigh on the other side of the door before she said

Krista: "Okay...look, I have to go, but if you need anything please call me, okay?"