scott & hope oneshots

scars can still cause harm.

chapter four,

it was crazy that after everything, hope still worried about a repeat of the germany incident. right?

yes, she trusted scott but what's to stop him from doing it again? the only thing that would stop him, would be cassie. but if cassie was okay with it, what the hell would hope ever be able to do?

when hope and hank had found out the first time that he went to germany to go and fight the avengers, hope's first instinct was to put her walls back up, she let scott in and now look what happened. what if it happened again? what if, next time, he didn't come back? that's why she was so worried. one impulse is only ever shortly followed by another. hank was mostly just annoyed, with the fact that he stole his suit and that he didn't even tell him about it. he only wanted what was best for hope and now he was doubting if it was scott lang.

and then when scott got arrested, their whole lives fell apart. because of course, hank and hope helped make the suit, they contributed to it being used in whatever way it was. of course, scott's life wasn't simple after he got arrested either. he lost cassie, again, after the years he missed of her life, he wasn't prepared to lose anymore. but his mistakes only led him to the failures. the loss of time.

how could hope pretend that she was more important than scott's relationship with cassie? you can't actually break a bond of father and daughter, not when they've only had a limited amount of time together. how could hope put herself over the child? was that selfish? was that really so wrong?

she and hank had fled from one side of san fransisco to another, trying to outrun police and fbi. trying not to worry about anything else but herself. anything but her real feelings. so long as she could push them down, she didn't have to face them. she didn't have to overcome them, or work through them.

yes, they would grow in pain, but it was better than facing them.

and then the phone call came.

the phone call, admittedly, she'd been dying to hear. it felt as if some part of them, still had a chance.

she was so glad to hear the scott was okay- apart from the dream- but she was still so angry. so angry that he didn't just tell her. he didn't ask for her help. after everything they'd been through. why didn't he call her? she could've stopped him from being caught, from losing everything. again. the only reason she spoke to him now was because they may be able to save her mother.
and yes, it still broke her heart talking to him now.

and everytime she did, she heard the voice in her head screaming at her to not let herself fall back into her old ways. when she believed everything he said. when his smile brightened up her day. no matter how much that voice in the back of her head told her not to. she couldn't stop herself, his smile, his laugh, his eyes. everything that made scott, scott. and even though part of her knew that something would go wrong, sooner or later. she still wanted to try.

because what's the harm in trying? right?

when scott was finally able to talk to them both again, it felt like a weight off of his shoulder. something that had been eating away at him, had finally had a chance to disappear. he knew, deep down, that they were never likely going to forgive him. i mean, how could they? he did ruin their lives, he was the reason they had to go on the run, he was the reason they couldn't have any contact, he was the reason he lost everything with hope. except currently, he didn't have much of that. not now. not when she didn't want anything to with him, only his dream.

he blamed himself. of course he did. he would be a fool not to. it was his fault he got caught, he lost his life. he lost time with cassie. he lost time with hope. with maggie. even with hank. that was time he was never going to get back.

and for that, he would never forgive himself.

all he could do now, was try and rectify his mistakes, his faults. even if it would take time and, that was time worth spending.

especially in his eyes.