words I never said to him

19/8/22

It's been about a month since I last talked to you. Sometimes it's easy, others not so much. I'm in a sort of stage of grief. Not about us, our about our relationship as lovers. Because let's be real, that was doomed. But... I miss you. I miss my best friend. You were family to me, and it's so hard grieving someone who's very much still alive.

Do you miss me like I miss you? Probably not, if you did you would've reached out by now, but you haven't. You weren't ready for a relationship yet got with her 2 weeks after leaving. I'm in my senior year, and even with all this while we were going in and everyone was dancing and singing I looked around hoping I would see your face in the crowd, and that maybe just maybe you had come to see me and be there for me. I would've ran into your arms and just hugged tf out of you, alas... it's all in my head. You'll never show up, and while my heart aches yours is full of love. Why couldn't you be that bf for me tho? Old habits die hard tho, and I suppose sooner or later your true colors will show. For what its worth I miss you, I miss you everyday, and I still hope you come back and talk to me. Take care, alright?