Cop car

I'm Always Violent doll face

I sob as overwhelming emotions rip through me; I lean my head against the steering wheel of the old hand-me-down ford and tears fall from my eyes. I am scared that Brian will leave me as soon as he hears I had a boyfriend the whole time we were together, but I am more scared of loving him and then messing everything up. I am scared of not being enough and letting him down. I am scared of what my dad will do if he finds out I had sex with BK; I'm scared I that I could be pregnant or that someone in the press will find out about us. I look up when I hear a knock on my window and there stood Nolan, looking at me with worry evident in his blue eyes. He opens the door and he picks me up and sits in my truck and cradles me in his lap. I fist his t-shirt and sob into it with his warmth comforting me.

He rocks me and whispers sweet words into my ears; I finally calm down and just hiccup and he smiles and chuckles lowly at my hiccups. I smile at the rumble of his chest as he laughs and I giggle with him. We both sober up and he looks me in the eyes, asking me what happened without words. I look out the window at the fields before looking in his eyes. "I am in love with a guy who is four years older than me and I am scared. I had sex with him, Nolan." I say my voice cracking and he rocks me again.

"Hey, you'll be alright. There is no Sam to get in your way, right? And you love him, so you are going to be alright, Katers." Nolan reassures and I shake my head. "I am going to mess it up, N. The whole time we were together, I was with Sam. I forgot I was even with Sam. How do I tell the man I am in love with that I was dating another guy I was with the whole time I said I was in love with him? He isn't going to understand, hell I don't even understand it." I spill and Nolan gives me a determined look and I stop thinking so hard for a minute. "Kate, he is not Sam. He is not going to yell and cheat. You're scared you're going to mess this up? Kate, you have never messed up a relationship in your life. You have always been the perfect girlfriend." Nolan repeats and I look away in shame.

"I cheated on Sam twice, Nolan." I say not able to even look into his eyes. He grabs my chin and makes me to look him in the eyes; the surprise in his eyes was very evident. "Who have you cheated on him with besides this older guy?" he asks, with his sweet face cocked to one side. I look away, I am pretty sure Nolan isn't exactly a fan of Kenny, but then again Kenny was so upset when Nolan's dad died. "Kenny, I cheated on him with Kenny." I say wincing at the word cheated. It shouldn't have ever happened, but Kenny is one of the best things that have ever happened to me. "Kenny, as in the football star of our school who went to play at Georgia State; the one who is famous everywhere now. That Kenny?" he says in disbelief and I flinch at the hardness in his voice.

"Yeah, him; it shouldn't of happened and Sam doesn't deserve to be-" I was interrupted by Nolan scoffing. "Sam deserves to go hell; he most certainly doesn't deserve you to be faithful to him." I smile at how mad my best friend looks and he looks down at me with an eyebrow raised and asks, "What are you smiling at?" I giggle and say "You, silly. You're being cute." He rolls his eyes at me and then lazily smirks before saying, "Princess, if this is you're way of telling me you have been hiding feelings for me, I think you need to go break it off with your new boyfriend." I roll my eyes and shake my head. "You're getting far to cocky for your own good, Nolan." I scoff at him and he pokes me in the side and he mocks me, "And you are getting far too good at getting in trouble and not appreciating yourself." I smile at him and then a phone call interrupts our moment.

My phone plays "We Road In Trucks" and I answer it >>K: Hey Daddy. L: Ummm, baby girl, I am so sorry, but I have to go to Texas for a week or two and your momma is coming with me and you're brothers are going to Mamaw's in Georgia. Will you be all right staying at Brantley's or Jason's for a week or two? K: Yeah, Daddy. I'll go home get my clothes packed up and then I'll head over to one of the boy's houses. L: Love you, baby. I'm sorry; I forgot to let you know earlier. K: It isn't a big deal, Dad. Don't worry about it. Love you, have fun. L: We will, I'll call you a bunch.<<