I am a villain, Can I die?! (Suicidal Villain Deku)

Realization

What does he wanna tell me?

That I got problems?!

Guess what?!

I know that I have problems!

I know I need help but...

I can't!

I just can't!

I killed so many people!

Am I really allowed to get help now?!

Am I allowed to live?

Am I even allowed to be here?

Me: ....

Hound Dog: Kiddo, villains are never born to be evil. They are created. Bakugo had a point saying he was the one responsible for you.

Me: What you wanna say?

Hound Dog: Kid, what we are trying to say is that you had no choice in what you were doing. You couldn't help it anymore.

Me: But all the blood lust, the killing, the things I did.

Aizawa: Where things you did to cope with your own demons as well as your emotions. Each crime we saw coming from you where always emotional. None of them were cold and you even made sure that heroes would find your victims.

Me: They should... they deserve every little funeral they can get.

Aizawa: Probelm child. You are not cruel. You are not born to be evil.

Me: Then what about the blood lust I have?

Hound Dog: Kiddo, we can help you. You were beat up and left alone to suffer for so long. Of course wanting revenge on people and that blood lust comes together. 

Me: Really?

Aizawa: Unfortunatelly but it is not too late problem chld.

Me: ...

Is it really alright?

Can I really get help?!

Aizawa: Just let us help you.

Hound Dog: You know you can still be part of UA and become a hero if you want too,

Me: No. I gave up on that soo long ago. I don't even want to be close to ba hero.

Aizawa: Then accept us as people who want to help you not heroes. 

Me: I...

Hound Dog: You know that you need it too.

I do...

But...

I...

Is this the right thing to do?

Can they really help me to stop hearing them?

I wanted to talk but all of the sudden, I started to hear it again. It was coming out of no where and it always would start with a trinitus and then screams. Honestly it hurt my ears just hearinf them. 

My facial expression morved to a painfull expression and it was then that I felt a hand on my eyes. Someone was actually covering my eyes and in the next moment I could hear some heart beat. Not only that but I was being hugged too.

Aizawa: Focus on my heart beat problem child... just stay with us.

I tried to do what he told me since I knew that last time he told me to breath went down the gutter since I couldn't even hear what he was saying at all. Now that I could actually feel and hear his heartbeat it was somewhat calming too. 

I still cound't believe why this hero would go so far for a nobody like me. There had to be something more. That was definitelly not the end of the story. That much was clear to me and the moment it stopped, I moved away a little bit. 

Me: You knew my mother, didn't you?

Aizawa: ....yes.... we both did...

I knew it!

I mean it was just a wild guess but still...

Now it makes sense...

Now I know why he wants to help me this much...

He has a sense of guilt!

Me: From where?

Aizawa: We were classmates. All of us where in the hero class but your mother never wanted to be a hero even though she had her lycense for it.

Hound Dog: You know she was a great woman. She always told us she only wants to be in the course to be able to get a solid job so she could support her family when it was time for her.

Aizawa: We lost contact with her ever since she told us she was pregnant and had a family.

Me: .... she was a hero?

Aizawa: Yes... and what kind. You wouldn't understand it even if we would tell you.

My mother was a hero....

Then why didn't she react when I killed her?

Why did she let me do that?

WHY?!

Did she know about it?

Did she know that I.... 

Did she ever resent me for that?

Aizawa: Problem child, I am sure she accepted it and never hated you for how you are.

Me: I killed her! How could you know?

Aizawa: I know it. Me, Present Mic and Midnight as well as Oboro and your mother were the best friends. We were always together. In fact your mother was the one telling me to pick up this capture weapon. She was too kind for her own good. I am sure she knew what was coming and thought this would be the best thing for you.

She...

She let me kill her because I needed it....

She...

Oh god!

Mom!

I am so sorry!

I am so so sorrry!

Why didn't I realized that sooner!

As I was sitting there close to Aizawa, I finally broke down crying. No one ever told me about my mother and the people who knew about her never knew that she was actually a hero or that she had a lycense just for her family. Now it made sense why she used her quirk freely or why she smiled and actually told me not to worry soo many times. She was always there for me and I killed her because I couldn't stand it anymore.

I was..

I made the worst mistake ever back then and there.

Still if she would have stuggeled even a bit then I was sure that I would have lost myself more. Who knows what would have happened to me when my mother would have faught back. Would I even stand here right now or would I be completly insane.... who knew what would happened to me.

Whlie I was having my own break down, I had both heroes around me waiting and carying for me till I was ready to tell them my story as well as the things they need to know.