This is What It Feels Like (A Ricky Dillon Fanfic)

Chapter 6

The boys and Ricky left town that day. The visit that I had been looking forward to for months, had ended in less than a day. I had made the wrong decision, and I doubt Ricky would ever forgive me. I doubt I'd ever be able to forgive myself. I can't talk to anyone right now than Connor.

He picks up on the second ring.

"Hey, I'm actually on my way to your apartment. I told the boys I was going to my parents for the weekend. But I'm almost here." He hangs up.

Well, okay then Con.

There's a knock on my door five minutes later. So it's either Connor, or Clarence the lobby man. I rush to open the door for either one, and I'm shocked from what I see.

It's Ricky!

"Hey, I know you're mad at me, but can we please talk?" He just comes right in, he knows that I can't say no now.

He sits down on the couch like he's going to have another breakdown. I don't want to see that again. I was damaged enough by the one yesterday.

"So, I'm here to talk about yesterday. I actually brought someone along, and I'm not sure if this was a mistake or not." From the doorway comes a beautiful girl with long, curly brown hair. She has the perfect face and body. She's perfect!

"This is Camryn. She's twenty-one, and she's the girl I kissed. Since you didn't listen to me, maybe you'll listen to her." Ricky gets up from the couch, and exits the room. Wow, way to make things better Richard!

"Hi, I'm Camryn. You must be Shayna. Ricky has told me so much about..." She pauses for a second as Ricky totally disappears upstairs.

"Let's get some things straight you. Ricky might want you back, but he's still mine. And I'm not going to let you change anything about us!"

A look of pure anger crawls across her face, she makes a screaming and growl noise, and that's one of the last things I remember.

Camryn grabs my wrists, pushes me over to a wall and pins them to it. Her hands are balled into fists, and they keep connecting with my gut and my face. I couldn't move. I was helplessly gasping for air. I can feel the hot liquid running down from my nose and other parts of my face. The hurting sensation in my gut, is what will soon turn to bruises that cover my body for weeks.

Then, she stops. Camryn turns around, but I don't know why. I'm slumped in a ball on the floor as far as I can tell, and there's a voice coming from the doorway. The person comes running up towards her, but my vision is too blurry to fully process their features. Then, everything goes black.

My vision seems to come in and out, and when vison comes to, everything is blurry. It comes to, and there are figures, but I can't make them out. What happened and where am I, aren't even the start of the questions that scatter through my mind. Well, they are some of the questions, but I have others. I just can't truly think straight.

The next time I fully wake up, it's to the sound of silent beeps, but loud enough to hear. My vision adjusts to my milieu, to find a familiar face above me.

"Hey Con," I say drowsily. "How'd I get here?"

"Well, Ricky's psycho girl went after you and damaged ya pretty well. Your face is pretty bruised up and you have a broken wrist. They're gonna keep you here for one more day. Ricky went home because he was too upset and embarrassed over this. He claims it was his fault."

"Yeah. See, this is why I love ya Con." Connor seems to shut down his perk.

"What's wrong?"

"Shayna, I trust you enough and know you well enough that you can keep a secret. And we've been friends for a while now, and I feel like I need to get something off my chest." He looks down at the ground and seems to cower for a second, until he looks up to me, dead in the eye.

"I'm gay." He sits there for a second, and purses his lips. Did he really think that would change the way I thought about him? Or his friends or family? They'll always love him no matter what. He's still the same funny guy that can always cheer you up. That's Connor Franta, none other. And I tell him just that.

He pulls me into a tight, meaningful hug.

"I haven't told that to anyone else, even my parents. So you can't talk about it with anyone. Promise?"

"I promise. And anyway, who would I even tell? It's not like I have a social life." We both laugh. It feels good to let loose after those last few minutes.

I hope Connor realizes I didn't mean I loved him that way. Like, I love him as a friend. He's the most amazing friend in the whole universe, so I love him as a friend.

And I know I still love Ricky.

This is what it feels like, to be misunderstood.

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I love this chapter so so much omg! Guys I'm so excited Trevor and Ricky are going on tour together later this year! I hope they come to Philly! Please tell me how you like my stories!