I like you, for you.

Chapter 8: Stay Here

"This is my room." Vance said this while leaning against the open door to let me in. As I stepped inside, my stomach twisted anxiously. It was kind of how I imagined him decorating it. The room was crammed with posters of bands I'd never heard of with ridiculous names. I cast a sidelong glance at the pile of blood-splattered clothes on his dark desk chair, which Vance appeared to be trying to quickly clean it up before I would notice it, but it was too late.

But something piqued my interest. On his dresser was a round ball. I approach it slowly and realize what it was. My old baseball from three years ago. I couldn't help but smile as I picked it up.

"Hey, why do you have this?" I ask softly as I turn to face Vance, my gaze fixed on the ball.

"Oh, uh. I found it while out walking." His voice was harsher and seemed choked up, as if he'd been caught red-handed. In the corner of my eye, I recognize a magazine pile on the floor to the right of his bed. Mixed in with comic books and... less than kid-friendly material. I groan when I see it. Vance is a teenage boy, which I keep forgetting.

"Do you like what you see?" Vance is right behind me, he says. I flinch slightly, then return to him and say, "You are gross." I finally poke fun at him for once.

"All right, dipshit. My fault for having a good time." "You ever read a comic before?" he asks as he pulls a comic book from the stack. I nod quietly. "You can keep this one," Vance says as he hands it to me. I've already read it several times."

"Spider-man?" I murmur to myself. I'd never considered him as someone who would like him. As I sit on the edge of the bed, clutching it to my chest, I wait for Vance to join me.

The bed sinks slightly as he sits next to me, and our legs brush against each other. My face warms up in response of the sudden contact. "Yeah. His story made me cry." Vance was looking down at the ground, while I was staring at him in thought.

I only saw him cry once, after the first time we kissed. Vance is not someone I would consider to cry over a comic.

"In that comic, the people band together to criticize Spider-Man because they all believe he is some sort of evil vigilante. In reality, he simply wishes to protect the people. He doesn't mean what he says. He only wants what is best for them. He saves them despite being trashed every two fucking seconds. Everytime." His voice crackles slightly. I must admit that I had heard rumors about him beating up the neighborhood bullies.

Now I knew Vance was really trying to be normal. He was a kid just like me.

"Are you worried that you scare people?" I ask.

"No." Vance says, but he seemed to avoid making eye contact with me.

"How about me?" It occurred that whenever I said this, it made him nervous. As he leans back, the bed shakes slightly. "Just so you know, you've never scared me."

"Really?" Vance's voice softens with delight.

As I flip through the pages of the vibrantly colored comic, I nod and rest my head on his shoulder.
'Vance, of course I love you.' That's what I would have said.

———————————————————————————

"Wake up." My eyes slowly open, dazed, as all of the blood rushes to my head. Did I doze off? I yawn tiredly and realize I'm asleep in Vance's bed. I sit up and look over at Vance, his black rough blanket rubbing against my skin. Who was just sitting there next to me with an arm around me.

How humiliating is that? I fell asleep in front of the first guy who could have possibly liked me. I could have smacked myself right there and then in frustration.

"How much time did I sleep?" My mouth pours out the words.

"For about an hour or two. I would have let you sleep longer, but I wanted to spend time with you rather than your motionless body." Vance laughs at himself, but I just stare at him, offended.

"So why were you staring at me like a creep?" Teasingly, I say. I was aware that this might irritate him, but we were just fooling around.

"Asshole. I just wanted to make sure new that nothing bad would happen to you." He said this while lightly punching my aching arm.

Wow.

We just sat quietly in his bed. The warmth of the sun through the small window next to his desk. It was still early morning or possibly afternoon. That's not so bad. My mother can't be too concerned right now. The silence was broken abruptly when Vance said, "I have something I want to ask you. Be completely fucking honest with me." My brow furrowed once more in reflection. But I soon relaxed in anticipation of what he might say. "I like you."

At the very least, I now know he likes me. My face turned even redder than before, and my heart beat quicker than normal. "I like you as well." I say.

"Then, I think we should... be...boyfriends?..."

I went completely still. I know I should have been happy and flustered, but I wasn't. I was frightened to death. Everything my mother said echoed in my head. We have both been aware that it wasn't safe. That trying to keep each other a secret would be extremely damaging to both of us. We'd never be able to work together in the end.

"I'm not sure. Are you certain you want this?" I needed Vance to say yes and assure me that we'd be happy together. We could just live off the grid or in the country where no one is. And then maybe we can live happily ever after.

But... Vance does not immediately respond. He sat and concentrated hard on his work. He would have automatically said yes if he really liked me.

"Bruce. When I'm with you, it's as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Everything I've ever been told I should be is 100 percent insane. My attention is always on you. To answer your question, I am certain." Vance's hand appears to be grasping mine. As he waits for my rebuttal, he flashes me his beloved smile.

"Me too... Me too." I whisper softly. I no still need my mother's approval for the things I do. I was sure I wanted Vance. So, I answered him.

"You do realize people call you the pinball devil, right?" I change the subject as Vance's eyes widen in amusement. Or maybe shock.

"What? DO THEY? That is the shittiest nick name I have ever heard." Vance's face becomes grumpy as a result of his frustration. I'm sure he was just disappointed that it wasn't what he had exactly hoped for.

"Because you drag them into..." "HELL!" I pause for dramatic effect. I start shouting to scare him, but Vance's stern expression remains.

I look back to see if he's mad at me, but he just laughs, "You should have seen your stupid face!" Vance grinned.

"Stop!" I yell and cover his mouth with a pillow. Vance shouts back at me and throws out his arms to get me off.

Actually, I take it back. I think we could last.