Kiss with a Fist

Chapter 8

Billy was seriously considering wrapping his car around a tree. As much as he loved his Camaro and would hate to destroy his beautiful baby, Max was pushing him towards it.

He was driving her to the Byers house for a shitty sleepover, with no Neil around to control the situation, Susan had caved and allowed Max to go to the sleepover. Of course Billy still had to drive her, Susan was at work. Steve was going to be there, though he wasn't staying the night of course, Harrington had somewhat become friends with the Henderson kid, so Billy was contemplating sticking around for a few hours, smoke with Harrington, and then he'd leave, maybe go see what Munson was doing.

Max was currently annoying him as he tried to focus on the road, she was singing along to Kate Bush, very out of tune. He'd let her have control of the music just this once, sort of like his apology. He wasn't good at verbalising his emotions, and actions spoke louder than words right? Though it hardly counted as an apology, he would think of something better eventually but in the mean time it was at least a start.

However the horrendous singing was giving him a headache and he was desperately suppressing the urge to snap at her and resort back to being the old Billy. He should get an award for the self control he was showing right now. Harrington would probably be proud.

He lit a cigarette quickly and hung his arm out the window as he smoked it, one hand on the wheel. Max had stopped singing, but now she was babbling away about some shitty nerd game that he really didn't care about. The boys had finally convinced her to play with them.

Billy tuned Max out, keeping his focus on the road, and trying to ignore the churning in his stomach. He felt nauseous-and he didn't want to admit that it was because of guilt.

Last time he was at the Byers things didn't end well. He felt the phantom sting of his knuckles connecting with Steve's face and he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. He finished his cigarette, throwing it out of the window with a little more force than necessary.

Max looked over, noticing the rigid tension in her step brother's shoulders. A few months ago she would of geared herself up for Billy to explode and scream in her face. Now she was just worried, worried for Billy. She'd gotten better at reading his moods, and he was clearly anxious, it wasn't hard to guess why.

Max knew words would be meaningless to Billy, he didn't want her bullshit reassurance. So she didn't say anything, just lightly bumped her fist against his shoulder, letting him know he wasn't going in alone.

Billy actually smiled slightly, just slightly.

He turned into the driveway and cut the engine. He got out of the car before he could give himself time to chicken out.

Pussy. His dad's voice sneered in his head but he forced it down.

Max followed behind Billy as he knocked on the door, he'd plastered on the usual facade he used to greet the mums of Hawkins. All charm and expertly schooled facial expressions. Flash them that Californian smile, and they were hypnotised. He was like a snake charmer. Keeping the fangs of nosy mother's away from his issues, he didn't need them prying into his life. There was only one thing he wanted from them (and Billy wasn't sure he even wanted that anymore-or if he'd ever really wanted it.)
The nights he'd spent wooing unsatisfied mothers had been a trade, he gave them what they wanted-attention, a night with a younger man who knew how to please them. In return Billy got a few minutes of affection, a soft safe embrace, that reminded him of the mother he missed so much. He knew it wasn't okay. He was younger than some of those mother's children, and having sex with mothers for a few minutes of affection definitely wasn't healthy.

It made Billy laugh, if it wasn't for Steve and Eddie, he never would have realised these things. Steve had comforted him and tended to his wounds without expecting anything from him, despite their previous history.