Saving Grace

16

I'm proud of myself, so fucking proud of myself cause I never let fear stop me~Grace

"Remus lupin is dumb ......he said chocolate makes everything better"  she pouted and Andre laughed

"That's what you get for listening to a character in Harry potter"

They were on Grace's bed watching 'to all the boys I've ever loved' ....... Grace picked the movie... obviously

They were drinking caprisone and a big bag of chips was in Andre's grasp as they nuzzled together in the warm duvet.

Andre never thought he would be consuming caprisone after being 20 years, but there he was with Grace Moses, his queen who was sometimes more childish than a 5 year old

The movie was close to ending when he turned to look at the girl he loved so much. It was strange how they spent so much time together but weren't together.

They loved each other and they didn't seem to need to put a title on it.

He wasn't a preacher of love, he never imagined himself falling for any girl. It was strange how Grace captured him but he was glad She did. He couldn't imagine being with anyone other than her.

Grace was lost in thought staring blankly at the t.v. screen when Andre touched her thigh knocking her out of her daze

"Delilah" he stared at her intensely wondering what was going on in her small head

"Andre," she began and he nodded
She smiled refusing to stare at him

"I....I have been so close to death. I've been so close to ending it all" tears started pricking the back of her eyes. Andre narrowed his eyes, Cleary not expecting that. He was almost scared.

"I remember when I slit my wrists and when I hung myself on my birthday" she continued. Andre's eyes were slightly wider as he tried to hide his hurt, worry and fear. Grace could still see it

" I felt so lost, so unimportant.... useless, I felt like I wasn't needed....I...I was hurting so much and I thought that I had no one. It was one of worst stages in my life. I tried to be strong b..but I didn't want to to be. I didn't want to endure the pain, I didn't..... I didn't" her breathing became harder and louder and Andre squeezed her thigh already frightened. He was about to have a heart failure with the way his heart was beating...but he calmed himself down reminding himself that he needed to be strong so he could take care of Grace. If something happened to him, who would take care of her?

"Calm down Grace, it's okay, breathe baby girl" he soothed caressing her thigh

Grace shook hey head 'no'

"How I spent nights crying. I tried to act like everything was fine but I  knew s*** wasn't fine. I was a mess, I was so complicated and so broken.... so damaged. I was going crazy" tears were rolling down her face now and she sniffled

"I was so dumb because I let him break me..... I let that stupid mistake turn my life around. I feel like a different person in my own skin and I just wanted to end it all because I was tired..... so f****** tired of the pain of the screaming of fighting  of the arguments..... I was so damn tired and I was......I just felt like I was in a deep black hole..... a deep hole. People.......people would come to me and tell me I look stressed out, they tell me I should stop thinking, I should just relax but I couldn't relax when the demons in my head wouldn't let me rest" she sobbed

"It was a time I felt completely and utterly alone. I was fighting battles in my head, in my heart I was blaming myself and feeling guilty and I just.... I felt like I didn't deserve to even live" she sniffled and Andre had an expression on his face that she couldn't read but she realized what it was when she saw a tear slide down the side of his cheek. She sighed licking her lips and continuing