𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 10- 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝

Keith and Lances relationship is beyond rocky at this point, its fucking collapsed with how much time they've spent away from each other because of their own mental healths, today Lance was coming back though after spending a year in the mental hospital.  A car was set to bring him back in the next few minutes so Keith stood outside waiting for it to pull up outside, would Lance be better?  the hospital when he was there didn't exactly treat him well but maybe that was because for most of the 5 years he was there, he was kinda hostile towards others but could you blame him? they're so aggressive there! - hopefully Lance handled it just fine though and he was at least the slightest bit better.    

A white car came into the driveway  'kay here we go' Keith thought, he watched the door open, saw his fiancé get out and start walking towards him..he looked so damn tired but either way Keith was overjoyed to see him so he smiled  "Hey baby i missed you!-".    the brunette walked right past him without a word. Keith felt his heart cut itself open a bit, a lump instantly stuck in his throat, a tear sliding down his face whilst he tried desperately not to let more slip out - so he  walked into the house where the other man had went straight upstairs.

"Lance? baby?"   Keith called to him as he walked into their bedroom but he didn't get a response, instead Lance was under a blanket with his eyes closed so he was probably on the verge of falling asleep - Keith frowned and left him to it, he knew when his fiancé needed to just be alone..but why did he want to? he's been alone the most out of them both. The look on Lance was so heartbreaking, his eyes have heavy purple bags under them, his cheeks is starting to have spots on them and his expression was nothing but dull, maybe he'd be better when he woke up? thats how it always went.

When it reached hours into the night though, only then did he see Lance awake staring at the ceiling, Keith rubbed his eyes before yawning "what are you doing up love its.." he glanced at the clock on the wall "3am."  
"Can't sleep."

it was a plain and simple response but stabbed into the ravens heart deeply so that it caused an ache, he couldn't help but reach out a rough thumb to rub the tanned cheek that had lost its soft touch  "You used to care so much about yourself..your skin, how you looked, everything."   to that Lance moved his face away from the thumb to lean into the pillow instead..he didn't even wanna be touched anymore..Keith turned away on his side to try go back to sleep, still leaving Lance awake to be staring at the blank white ceiling.
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Morning rolled around and it actually nearing the day the couple were to having their wedding so they had to start talking about that and preparing for that day to come, Lance was still laying down but this time on the couch like he was incapable of going to stand up, so tired he would probably pass out right on the floor. "Hey Dear? What we do we think about the wedding?"     Lance's eyes shifted to look at him "Oh that? don't want one anymore."  

"But you even planned all the people who would come! , the colours, you were so excited to have a wedding, to walk down the isle you know?"   Keith was looking at him in disbelief
"I just dont want to have a big gathering anymore."    "But-"   "Keith i don't want to talk about this."     That was the final straw - tears started streaming down Keith's face, he felt outraged and upset at the same time as he yelled    "Do you not love me anymore!?  is that it?  if you don't just fucking tell me that!"

"I never said I didn't love you."  
"You aren't the same anymore Lance!  why do you not even try anymore!?   its like you avoid me now and- and you don't even want me to touch you!"   His voice got louder

"Maybe because you abused me and left me."
"Abused you? when did i- EVER do that?"
Keith knew when, he knew thats what he even went to jail for but still he wants to believe it didn't happen. He hates himself for it.   "You went to prison, you remember that? thats when you also left me alone for 15 years. I don't even care, i really don't and still love you but I'm just tired."   It was the most Lance had said after coming back, he was even tearing up and it just broke the older's heart more

"Now please. I don't wanna talk about this.."  His lover turned on his side to face away from Keith, he couldn't be here. Needed to get out of here. Be alone. Keith has to distance himself before he does something he really shouldn't   So he walked straight out the front door with tears still going down his face, twitching hands in his pockets - fuck he's been off his anti-psychotic's for a while because all he's been worrying about is Lance..how long had he actually been off them?  2 months?  6?  the whole damn year?.  

He made it to a willow tree that was in a park, sat himself under it, knees curled to his chest with his face on top of them, still he continued to cry as he came to realise that his life really was falling apart because of him, everything that has happened its all been his fault.

What was even worse is that he would never even begin to understand how Lance was feeling so he couldn't even help him. Keith thought this would all be okay but it really wasn't, their wedding wasn't going to happen, he didn't believe Lance, Lance doesn't love him anymore.    'He doesn't love me, he doesn't love me."  running on loop, his crying turning into screams.

Then after so long, in a dark tone.

"Then make him love you.."