Wanderlust

26. Traitor

A small gasp escaped Blair's lips.

It was quiet between them for a moment.

"JJ....." she spoke in almost a whisper.

JJ stepped back shaking his head. "No, don't say it." He began pacing.

"What?" She asked.

"That 'it's John B. It'll always be John B'.." he ran a hand through his hair.

Blair couldn't bring herself to speak. Her stomach twisted in fear. Of course she loved JJ. But as her best friend.

"I just couldn't go through with all of this without telling you. Without you knowing." JJ still paced back and forth.

"JJ.... I can't..." She croaked feeling tears forming in her eyes.

He stopped pacing and looked at her as she spoke again. "You're my best friend. And you know I love you..."

"Just not in that way." He looked away clenching his jaw.

"I could never risk losing what we have. What we have is more than best friend love. It's a crazy die for each other bond you can never break. A bond where we can make fun of each other endlessly and always make the other laugh. I can't risk any of it because you're too special to me. Please... I'm so sorry.." tears fell from her eyes now while she spoke.

JJ wouldn't look at her, he stared down at his feet feeling torn. He sighed once more before giving in and hugging her tight. She hugged him back burying her head in his chest.

He held her in his arms feeling scared. Scared that she was right but also scared to what he'd just confessed. There was still a part of him that was curious and wouldn't let it go.

He pulled back from their hug. "Can I just try one thing?" He asked softly.

Blair looked into his sad hopeful eyes. She slowly nodded unsure of what he meant.

JJ brought his hand to her cheek and slowly pulled their faces together until his lips met hers.

He kissed her hard and passionately letting his emotions overwhelm him. Blair hesitated for a moment before she let herself gently kiss back. Although his lips were soft, she felt it was wrong. Deep down inside her she felt as if she'd been kissing a brother. It wasn't right.

When they finally pulled apart, JJ couldn't help but realize he felt the same way.

~

The two pogues were completely unaware to John B standing at the steps of the chateau's porch. His heart dropped at the sight of his two best friends. His two best friends kissing one another. He felt betrayed. Lost. Confused. He couldn't bare to look at the sight any longer, he'd gotten back early from getting fuel for the boat but left before they could see him...

~

After the two spent the rest of that evening talking to one another, reassuring the both of them felt the same way, Blair made sure JJ was 100% okay before he headed home for their last night. Blair decided to stay at the château and wait for John B to return as she felt a need to see him.

She waited all night but he never returned. She'd fallen asleep before realizing it in the morning that he'd never came back home. That was until she heard a ruckus outside past the porch.