For King And Country (not mine)

Autumn 1940

August 21st 1940
The Captain's heart was racing as he stepped out of his ensuite bathroom, carrying his neatly folded uniform in one hand. He felt exposed now, being dressed like Havers, in the comfortable, casual clothes that he slept in. At least he didn't sleep in his underclothes like some of the other men did.
Havers smiled at him, still standing by the door, illuminated only by the Captain's bedside lamp.
Bless him , the Captain thought.
He hadn't stepped more than a foot inside until given the all-clear from the Captain. He likely felt the same sense of concern in this situation. They had been toeing the line of propriety for some time now. But daring to do this involved jumping over that line before they'd even taken much of a step.
The Captain placed his uniform on the small chest of drawers opposite his bed and wrung his hands together as he faced Havers again.
Havers smiled at him, and he felt some of the worry melt away.
"You didn't have to linger by the door, you know." He said softly, trying to dispel the tension.
"I didn't want to assume anything," Havers replied. "I thought it best to wait for another invite."
"What a gentleman." The Captain chuckled. "Well, I hope you take this as that invite to get comfortable."
Havers crouched down to unlace his boots, slide them off and place them neatly beside the door.
He removed the braces attached to his trousers, placing them beside his shoes.
Fortunately, Button House had a variety of comfortable beds in its rooms.
The Captain had opted for a room with a slightly smaller bed than most of the other officers, feeling uncomfortable at the idea of sleeping on a large luxurious bed when so many officers abroad were on wooden or wireframed singles crammed together in the trenches like sardines.
Havers crossed the room to the Captain first, taking the Captain's hands in his own and gently tracing his knuckles.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" He asked quietly. "I can leave at any point if you're worried."
The Captain shook his head. "I  am  worried, but I want you here. I've never been a coward, and I won't start being one now."
Havers cupped his jaw with one hand. "You wouldn't be a coward for not being ready yet. I think it's reasonable to have concerns. I would be anxious if you  didn't  care about getting caught. We'll be careful, I swear. We'll be up early for our run anyway. No one will know."
"I suppose something is working in our favour, then." The Captain said. "Thank goodness we decided to start running together. It gives us an excuse to be together alone before everyone else is awake, at least."
Havers smiled again, like he knew that such a small act would ease the Captain's worries. "I'll ask again. Would you like me to stay?"
"Yes." The Captain took the lead, trying to set an example, leading Havers by the hands to the bed.
Havers followed, and the two settled under the covers. The Captain leaned over to his bedside table and turned off the lamp, shifting slightly once it was off to get comfortable.
In the darkness, he couldn't see anything concrete of Havers, only a vague outline.
"Goodnight, Teddy," Havers mumbled into the darkness.
The Captain smiled, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks and feeling grateful that Havers couldn't see the drastic change in his facade.
Despite the initial nerves, sleeping beside each other seemed like the right decision. With time, they would get more relaxed. In time, this would be the new normal. It would just take some adjusting.
"Goodnight, Will." The Captain softly replied, still smiling even as he drifted off into sleep.
November 5th 1940
It became a regular occurrence, after that night, for Havers to sneak towards the Captain's room when the other officers had gone to bed.
Three or four nights a week, their routine would involve staying together throughout most of the night. Havers would wake up early in the morning before their run to sneak back to his own room.
That way, if anyone were to leave their rooms in the night, they wouldn't catch Havers and the Captain coming from the same direction.
Gradually, they had also evolved into a new level of comfort.
This was one such morning, where the Captain woke to something moving beside him.
He blearily opened his eyes. It was still pitch black in the room, but there was a noticeable coldness at his back that hadn't been there before.
Havers was  supposed  to be there. The familiar arm that was usually looped around his waist and the warm chest behind him was gone. He'd grown far too used to having regular puffs of breath tickling the back of his neck as he fell asleep.
The Captain turned over. He could see Havers' outline on the edge of the bed, carefully shifting the covers to avoid making too much noise.
"Will?" He murmured.
"I've overslept a little. I need to get back to my room."
"What time is it?" The Captain turned on his lamp, wincing at the brightness as he pushed himself into a seated position.
"Almost half five," Havers replied. He sounded exhausted. Not using military time showed that. He likely wanted another hour or so of sleep before they got up for their run.
Havers stood, yawning, and crossed the room to pick up his shoes and braces. It was safer for him to wear them on his way to the Captain's room in case anyone saw him.
At least he seemed presentable and reasonably smart for a last-minute report before bed. That was their go-to excuse, anyway.
Havers would return to his room now with neither on. The shoes would make more noise on the floor, and the braces were too finicky to be attaching now.
"I wish we didn't have to sneak around like this." The Captain said. "I'm sorry. It's not right that you stay up so late and wake up so early to avoid being seen."
Havers looked over at him and smiled. It was tired, but full of affection regardless.
"I would rather we avoided the sneaking around too. But I don't mind it so much. I get to sleep beside you most nights of the week. That's enough to make the fuss worth it."
The Captain looked away, feeling his cheeks heat up. He heard Havers chuckle lowly.
"You can have more time in bed if you'd like," He said after a moment, looking back up at Havers.
"Don't run this morning. You've been dealing with Johnson's bumbling mistakes for the last week.
Plus your regular duties ..."
"I like running with you."
"But you need the sleep." The Captain insisted. "As your commanding officer-"
"Oh, playing the captain card, are we?" Havers laughed, crossing his arms with a teasing smile.
"I also say this as your partner. You need the extra time in bed," The Captain added. "We can't fight a war if we're tired. If an air raid happens and you sleep through the night because you're exhausted, it might be the one night something comes close enough to hit the house."
Havers made his way back to the bed, placing the shoes and braces down on the floor before kneeling on the mattress. He pulled the Captain close and kissed him softly.
"Thank you for the concern, Teddy, but I'm fairly confident none of you would leave me in the house during an air raid," Havers said softly.
"Perhaps not, but you understand my point, don't you?"
"Of course. Practical thinking, as usual. But keeping myself fit and healthy is also practical. I can't allow you to close those two seconds between us, after all."
The Captain laughed, kissed Havers again and pushed at his shoulders.
"Go back to your room, Will."
"Kicking me out of your bed in the middle of the night! In the bleak November cold! What a cruel lover you are!" Havers joked as he climbed off the bed and grabbed his belongings yet again.
The Captain couldn't help but continue to laugh.
"Don't be so dramatic. If it were my choice, we would never have to leave our bed."
The words slipped out of the Captain's mouth before his brain even had a chance to process the thought.
The two of them looked at each other in stunned silence for a few moments before Havers broke
it.
"Our bed?" Havers said softly. "You're a lot more romantic than you think, you know."
"Sorry. I should've stopped and thought before I said something."
The Captain shrunk a little. He knew that not everyone was a fan of declarations or proud expressions.
A lot of officers he'd served with throughout his life expressed disdain for the way women 'begged' for romance from their men, seemed to crave even the slightest scrap of it. And once they had a crumb, they could never get enough.
The soldiers the Captain had known -usually the older ones disillusioned with married life after so long - didn't enjoy their wives' love letters any longer.
They were fanciful things for new enlistees in their late teens and twenties. They were for the newly married men with a child on the way or one just born.
The love declarations weren't for men in higher positions, with promotions and units under their belts, jobs to do and not enough hours in the day to do it.
"No," Havers said. "No, don't apologise. I didn't say it because it's a bad thing. I like it. I promise I like it."
"Y-you do?" The Captain asked uncertainly.
"I think it's ever so lovely to see a softer side to you," Havers admitted. "I won't tell the others about it, of course. Our little secret."
"Just another of many." The Captain joked half-heartedly. Secrets were no strangers to him anymore. What was one more upon his conscience?
"Don't fret so much. Try to enjoy another hour of sleep without me clinging to you," Havers suggested, a trace of tenderness in his voice. "I'll see you for our run."
The Captain smiled, grateful for the lieutenant's valiant attempt at making him feel better. "See you soon."
The Captain watched him unlock and open the door, giving the Captain one last smile before closing it.
The Captain decided against getting up and drawing the deadbolt across again. There was no point now. He turned off his lamp again, trying to settle and fall back to sleep.
~
The Captain's legs ached as he went through to the common room.
It had been an old banquet hall, back in the day, or so he'd been told. It was certainly big enough to host a large group of people.
He could almost imagine all the noble and royal folks that had stood in this room decades and centuries before. It was overwhelming at times.
The history that had happened in this house still lived. Maybe one day, a few decades into the future, the Button Eleven's work would be regarded in the same way. More stories to tell. Trips for young school children learning about the war.
A heritage site and a testament to how cruel the world could be sometimes. The Captain hoped the future would not be as foolish as to get involved with war again. It was a gruelling, tiresome business that benefitted no one, profiting off the backs of suffering.
He hoped his life of service would mean something to someone one day. As much as he loved the forces, being terrified of whether he'd live to see the next day was not something he enjoyed.
Grieving for a brother that had died hundreds of miles away was hard. Not being able to lean on the other brother through it made it even worse.
It had been a long day of drills. They'd spent almost the entire day outside, doing laps upon laps of the grounds, followed by endurance training and shooting practice.
The weather was getting colder, and soon they wouldn't be able to do all the things they would usually do.
But all the running and striding around yelling orders bogged him down now. Exhaustion filled his bones.
He was fully intending on checking on the rest of the soldiers before he went upstairs. They weren't in the kitchen. But he could hear them in the common room, all talking about something.
Making sure that they weren't intending on causing trouble was just as important as everything else they did here.
"Ah, Captain, you're finally here!" Smith greeted once he'd finally reached the common room. "We were hoping that you'd join us down in the village for a drink."
"What's the occasion?"
"It's Bonfire Night, sir!" Reed said, a hint of shock in his voice.
The Captain faltered for a moment, wondering how the date had managed to escape him.
Bonfire Night, and his birthday, of course. But only Havers knew about the latter.
"Goodness, I don't know how I forgot." The Captain tried to remain lighthearted as he spoke. Yet another year older. An anniversary of enlisting, too.
Forty-two years of age. Twenty four years of serving. More than half of his life in one place.
"Will you join us, sir?" Havers asked. He was standing in the middle of the group of officers, and the Captain looked at him, immediately picking up on the barely concealed hope in his eyes.
He knew that it was the Captain's birthday, and the Captain wouldn't have been surprised if going down to the village was Havers' idea. It was probably all a ploy to get the Captain to enjoy his birthday for once.
"Yes, of course." The Captain agreed. "I wouldn't want to miss any fireworks."
"I doubt there will be fireworks tonight, but I think one of the pubs has managed to get ahold of a few sparklers," Hughes said. "Some parents were going to try and get some pictures of the local children making fun shapes and spelling words with them, that sort of thing."
"Well, it sounds like a fantastic night, all told." The Captain said. "When are we going?"
"Right now, sir. We were only waiting for you." Havers said excitedly. He looked at his fellow officers. "Come on then, you lot. Get yourselves together. We should hurry to get a table before it gets busy."
The room erupted into an organised chaos, tidying up any lingering mess on the tables and filing them away into drawers and cabinets.
Within three minutes, the Eleven were closing the front door behind them, pulling on their overcoats to combat the November chill, and making a beeline for the village.