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Releasing the mermaid

When I first saw her I didn't think she was real. Mermaids are mythical creatures after all. She was floating in a large underwater display in a restaurant in New Arden. The glass was so thick that it distorted what was behind it but you could still make her out swimming listlessly among the fish. I would have put her totally out of my mind had I not happened to look up to see her catch a fish. Her eyes met mine at that moment and as if considering how it looked, she let the fish go, I was certain she had been going to eat it. The reality of the moment convinced me I was not seeing a human being dressed up but a real creature.

My old friend Kate Campbell scanned the menu, she is an expert at these things so I asked for her suggestions and then stumbled over their pronunciation when the waiter came. I had noticed that there was something very expensive on the menu that seemed to have no English translation. Kate didn't know what it was, so I asked the waiter. He raised his eyebrows and pointed to the tank.

"It's the mermaid, she is very delicious like eel."

I stared at him, "how can you eat her, she's human."

"No, no, she's a fish, very good for your libedo."

I nodded as if I understood but once the waiter had gone I turned to Kate.

"We have to rescue her."

Kate rolled her eyes, "You always do this, you can't rescue everyone and she's not even human, she's a mermaid."

I frowned, "but she's alive, she's a living creature."

"Yes and so are the squid you're about to eat."

"Have you eaten mermaid?"

Kate pressed her lips together, "Only once, at a big business function."

I stared at her and she shrugged.

"Everyone was having some, I didn't know what it was"

The meal was rather spoiled for us after that, we sat in silence each lost in our own calculations. I couldn't condone what Kate had done and she it seemed couldn't understand my feelings. At the end of the meal we split the bill. Before the waiter could go I stopped him,

"I want to order a whole mermaid."

He frowned, "That is very expensive sir."

"I know, I want that mermaid delivered to my home tomorrow alive."

"We can send one of our chefs if it is a private party."

"No, no chef, just the mermaid."

I took out my checkbook and wrote out the amount and the details of my address.

Kate watched all of this impassively but after the waiter was gone she turned to me.

"Was that all of your savings?"

"Pretty much a third of them."

She smiled a little then, "If I ever need saving Colin Finigan I'll know who to call." It seemed we were friends again but now I had bigger fish to fry. I had to work out what I was going to do with a mermaid.

It is perhaps no coincidence that there was a mermaid at the restaurant because we live in a coastal city. I live in a house just off New Arden's beachfront and it has a salt water pool overlooking the ocean. I guess I was thinking of the pool when I ordered the mermaid.

The next day a seafood truck rolled up to my house and I signed for the delivery of the mermaid. The delivery men were kind enough to help carry her up to the pool, they even threw in a bucket of fish which is something I hadn't really thought about. They also gave me a vile of what they called mermaid tranquilizer for when I was ready to kill her. They said this without expression as if this desire was the most ordinary thing in the world. I was going to throw it away but ended up pocketing it instead. I wasn't sure what lay ahead for either of us.