Home for the Summer (BOYXBOY)

29 | Hide and Seek

When Benji and Lilli took off surfing, Nico, Rowan, Izzy, and I decided to have a pillow fight. Izzy's reasoning was that pillows are a step up from water balloons, which turned out to be shockingly true because, after a minute of battling, Rowan ended up with a bloody nose and we all decided to forfeit. Now, we sat on the couch, Izzy's legs propped onto Rowan's lap and her nose clogged with tissue.

"So, you and Lilli?" Izzy said after a beat. I glanced at her as she smiled. "Are you two still seeing each other?"

"What? Oh, no. That ended before LA." She nodded and glanced at Rowan briefly. It was glaringly obvious that she already gathered this information from Lilli, but her smile made me cautious. "Did you tell her?" I asked Nico. His brows furrowed beside me as Izzy sat up.

"No," he said, his lips stretching into a small smile.

"Tell me what?"

I shook my head before exchanging a glance with Nico, nonverbally receiving that I could go ahead. "Uh, we're together," I mumbled. "Nico and I."

Izzy stared at us blankly before extending a hand to Rowan. "Come on," she said simply. Rowan huffed out a breath before dropping a $20 bill into her hand. "Literally called it ages ago."

"Wait, you knew?" I cried.

"I knew ever since the summer festival, boys! It's my gay telepathy. It's very strong."

"We weren't even together then," Nico laughed.

"Well, you were very gay."

"You guys cost me a 10th of a paycheck," Rowan grinned. "Hope you're very happy together."

"So, what was up with you seeing Lilli, then?" Izzy said as her eyes met mine.

"Yeah... I dunno, I just kinda thought that if I were to like any girl, it would be her, you know? And I really did try to like her... But, I think I knew on some level the whole time that, um... I'm gay."

Nico squeezed my hand for a moment and I realized that I had never said the words out loud before. I'm gay.

"Well, I'm proud of you," Izzy grinned. "And I'm very happy to have more gay friends."

"Who have you guys told?"

"Uh," Nico said. "You two are the first, I guess."

"Not Benji?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I sucked in a breath before shaking my head. "I'm going to. I just... Don't know how. Or when. I wish the perfect time would just come crashing through a door, like-"

"I LOST MY BRACELET," Benji yelled as he threw the back door open and stepped inside, his hair dripping. Lilli followed behind him in laughter. "In the fucking ocean! Isn't that ridiculous?"

"That's what you get for messing with the ocean," I nodded and Nico pulled his hand back into his lap.

Izzy stood, moving beside Lilli and pulling a purse onto a shoulder. "C'mon. Do you wanna go get a tub of ice cream?"

"Yes," Lilli grinned. "Rowan? You coming?"

"Mhm," she stood, giving Nico and I a wink. "No boys allowed. Sorry."

All three shared a smile before escaping through the back door, leaving Benji to fall onto the couch beside me.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to do this all-nighter thing," he sighed. "I'm already exhausted and it's only, like, 7."

He stretched over himself, folding his body in half as I squirmed. "Duh. That's what the energy drinks are for."

Nico glanced at me, giving a small nod toward Benji. I knew that right then was the perfect time to tell him but, for some reason, the thought horrified me. Benji and I had been close for years. The kind of close that meant sleeping in the same bed and changing clothes in the same room. Coming out could change things. What if he suddenly decided it was uncomfortable to be friends? What would I say in response?