Home for the Summer (BOYXBOY)

33 | Berkeley

Trigger warning for this chapter! Scroll down to the author's note for specifics :)

***

"I looked up some of those schools," Nico said, his head peeking through my doorway. "UCLA and Berkeley have incredible marine biology programs."

I sat my book down and looked- really looked- at him. "You're thinking about this? Actually?"

"I mean, why not?" He stepped into my room, sitting beside me on my bed as I marked my place in the book. "Hockey doesn't have to be my only option."

I didn't quite know how to form what I wanted to say, so instead of trying, I just spoke. "You've spent years training for hockey, though," I said. "And, what about your mom? Would she be alone in Vermont?"

"I haven't really thought it through, but visiting a few colleges couldn't hurt, right?"

"Yeah... But, out-of-state schooling would be super expensive. And again with hockey; Are you sure you just want to cut that whole part of your life out?"

"It'll still be a part of my life. Just... Not my whole life."

I took a breath. "I just don't really get it. In LA you mentioned teaching, right? Why move to Cali just to get a teacher's certification?"

"It's like you want me to live across the country," he chuckled. A pause loomed over us briefly before his brows furrowed. "Oh."

"No, that's not- I would kill to have you stay here, Nico," I rushed out. "It's just... Are you sure being here is, like, healthy for you?"

"What do you mean?"

I didn't want to say it, but I had to because he was more important than my nerves.

"Your physiatrist and mom aren't here, there isn't an adult who knows about-" he inhaled sharply and I glanced away- "everything. I just don't want you to stay here and get worse."

He took a long breath before replying, glancing out my window as he spoke. "I was a lot worse in Vermont. This is... This is the best I've been doing in a long time." I nodded, though I couldn't understand. "I know it's hard to see that. But, I haven't been this happy since I was a kid. You- Everything here just makes me feel better. Hopeful, I guess." Nico's eyes moved from the window to me again and he smiled. "I don't want to give that up."

"I don't want you to, either," I replied, but what I wanted to say was, "I don't want to give you up." And I knew that I'd have to. School would return in 41 days and in 34, Nicolas Young would be gone. What was the point of holding on so tightly to a boy who would slip through the cracks in my fingers?

***

Somewhere between last night and that morning, Nico decided that Berkeley was his best bet and followed through with an impressive amount of research. We boarded the car and spent an hour discussing what our college lives might look like.

"Okay, picture this," Nico said. "You're a Lit. major, I'm a marine bio one, yeah? And we share a dorm room with two other guys who are... I don't know, drama and poli-sci majors."

"Stopping you now. I don't want to room with a man who's in political science. That sounds like hell."

"Yeah, fair enough. A drama major and a psych major, then."

"That works."

"And me and the psych major are the rigid, academic types and you and the drama major are all carefree and fun."