51. Everything Makes Sense

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Tara’s breaths match mine

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Tara’s breaths match mine. Her face is tucked in the crook of my neck, and each time she blinks, her lashes tickle my skin. Everything about this evening is peaceful. The tension from earlier is gone. She knows how I feel about her, and she's safe. I didn't fail her.

“Bast.”

My lips graze Tara’s cheek. “Yeah?”

“Were you mad at Zoey for leaving you? I know the poor thing didn't have a choice, but...”

I hug her tighter. “I was mad at the world. At her parents for not moving her overseas. The doctors for not having a solution. Myself for not having money to do more.”

Tara rubs my silver chain between her fingers. It's become a habit for when she's deep in thought. “I asked doctor Jennings about glioma. He said not much progress has been made. I thought you might want to know,” she whispers.

“I know. But thank you for caring. Were you mad at your mom?”

Tara shifts on my lap. “On some days, I still kind of am. Because I don't know why she did it. I sometimes think it would’ve hurt less if she'd left a note. It would've been easier to forgive her and move on.”

“It wasn't your fault.”

“Doctor Jennings says the same.” Tara sighs, tugging at my chain slightly. “And I believe him. I just wish I didn't have to wonder.”

After another tug, I grab Tara’s hand and lace my fingers with hers. “Do you like the chain?”

She chuckles. “Sorry. I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

Please don’t.

“Wait.” I reach behind my neck and unclasp it. When I put the chain around Tara’s neck, she shakes her head. “Bast, I…you don't have to.”

“My grandpa gave it to me.” The memory makes me smile as I go on to fasten the tiny clasp. “It's my lucky charm, not that I believe in that shit. But he wanted it to be one, so let's roll with it, yeah? I want you to have it.”

“Thank you.”

Tara leans in, and our lips meet in a brief kiss. Hers are cold, and so are her cheeks despite the warmth of the fire and the blanket.

“Let's go inside?” I ask.

She fumbles off my lap, and as I stand, I grip the back of the chair because of how numb my legs feel.

Tara giggles, cocking her head. “I didn't think our age gap would be an issue this early in the relationship, Sebasti.”

I rake my eyes over her body. “You better run fast.”

She dashes to the house, and I put out the fire. When I go in, Tara’s in the kitchen, smelling her hair.

“We have hot water,” I say. “If you want to bathe.”

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