Star Trek Voyager: Lost and Found

Star Trek Voyager: Lost and Found (Chapter 18)

The blue sphere of Earth, its atmosphere swirling, its continents a patchwork of every colour on the spectrum enclosed by clear blue seas, loomed before the window of the Resistance’s observation lounge. It hadn’t changed much, not in the grand scheme of life, and yet Seven felt different from when she had first set eyes on the planet, almost two years ago now from her post at Voyager’s bridge. Then apprehension had dominated her mind as it did now, but she had been infused with the hope and joy of the crew which propelled her forward through the fear but she didn’t have that to fall back on anymore… That thought and the sight before her made her vision blur for a moment but an insistent tap on the face brought her back to reality. “Xenia…” she reprimanded gently as she lifted the offending small hand off her cheek and met the large pair of dark eyes gazing at her inquisitively. “I shouldn’t allow myself to be distracted too much should I?” She asked the baby, blowing a soft breath in her ear to get her to giggle, the sound carrying her out of the gloom that had hung over her periodically since the emotional torture of the trial had ended the week before and back under the warm light of gratitude at being alive at all. Xenia seemed to sense her mother’s calmer mood for she cuddled into her with a deep sigh. Seven kissed her silky head as she murmured, “Everything is going to be fine…” A statement aimed more at herself than at her contented and oblivious ten week old daughter.

The opening swish of the doors behind her made her instantly tense but Chakotay’s quiet voice lowered her defences. “What are you two doing up so early? We won’t be leaving for San Francisco for at least a couple of hours yet.”

“I know…” Seven started wanting to explain herself but reconsidering. “Xenia wouldn’t go back to sleep.” True enough but it hadn’t been the child’s wakefulness that had driven them from their quarters.

Chakotay knew her well enough to guess this but didn’t press, instead lifting Xenia high into the air. “My little night owl is causing trouble again is she?” He cooed at the baby as her gurgling laughter covered the top half of his uniform in saliva. Laying her on his chest as he joined Seven on the couch, he allowed himself an anxious glance at her pale, withdrawn features before directing his gaze back through the window. “It’s nice to see Earth again isn’t it?” he probed cautiously.

Seven was half agitated by and half grateful for his attempt to draw her out. “Yes…” She looked at him and suddenly the ache to confide was overwhelming. “I…I dreamed about being here so much when I was in captivity…but now that I’m here I am unsettled…” Irritation at her own tumultuous emotions suddenly bubbled up. “I don’t understand!” She burst out, lowering her head as she did so, ashamed of her perceived contrariness.

Chakotay swallowed the lump that formed in his throat at her evident self hatred before he spoke, “That’s okay, look at me…” She shook her head vigorously but he cupped her chin in his hand and turned her head until their eyes met. “This has been very traumatic…for both for us; you’re perfectly entitled to feel scared and confused about all this…”

Seven felt the walls she’d built up around herself since the trial begin to crumble under his earnest, loving gaze. “Starfleet will never believe me; I won’t go through testifying again, I can’t!”

“You won’t need to, the trial was in a Federation court, they can’t go against that…”

“They’ll make life…difficult for you…for Xenia…”

Chakotay couldn’t help uttering a contemptuous snort. “Starfleet have always made life difficult for me!” His tone softened as he looked into her uncertain face. “Whatever happens I’ll fight for you…I’ve fought them over a lot less…”

Seven shivered, not liking the thought of Chakotay being in anyone’s firing line, but gave him a soft kiss for the sweet sincerity of the comment. Putting her tired, aching head on his shoulder and lifting Xenia over until she was across both her parents’ laps, she spoke again in her more normal, considered tone, “Commodore Kettering says that Starfleet Intelligence believes Section 31 are beginning to implode after Starfleet began to investigate more thoroughly. Do you believe we are safe from them?”

“I don’t know but it would certainly be a blessing for the whole Federation if that cancer was removed. Johnson and Berg are in jail and if they know what’s good for them they’ll stay away from you…”

Seven gave a shaky sigh, “They’ll never be completely gone, there is evil in everything…”

“Please Seven, if you live your life in fear they will have won…”

Seven saw the fear for her in his face and kissed him with forceful passion. “Do not worry; I will not give into fear after so long of fighting it.” She glanced affectionately down at Xenia and then back at him. “I am surrounded by love and that is the best shield.” He smiled warmly in agreement and they kissed again over a now sleeping Xenia’s head.

                                                              ***

Despite her reassuring talk with Chakotay, Seven was still sick with nerves when the time came to leave the Resistance, struggling to stand upright on the transporter pad as she was beamed down with Xenia and Chakotay, thankfully as soon as they arrived a crowd of familiar faces from Voyager surrounded her. Tuvok, at the head of the group spoke first in a sincere but very Vulcan style. “I’m sure I speak for all your former crewmates Seven, when I say that we are all deeply gratified by your safe return.”

Calls of “Here, here!” echoed through the room but B’Elanna summed it up when she exclaimed, “Damn right!” as she approached Seven. “I’m so sorry Seven…” She said in a much quieter tone before saying to Chakotay, “I gave Tom a piece of my mind for pulling you off Johnson, it would have been fairer and swifter justice, but then I’m a Klingon…” She paused as she set eyes on Xenia, a smile spreading across her hitherto angry features. Seven obligingly put the baby in her arms, where everyone immediately began to crowd round, desperate to see the “surprise” baby.

The sound of a throat clearing behind her made Seven turn away from her crowd of friends but the face she saw made her step back in fright. “Admiral Samuels!”

“Yes Ma’am.” Said the once cold, derisive Admiral, now standing before her like the stereotypical penitent sinner, face sorrowful and contrite, feet shuffling awkwardly on the spot. “If I may, I have something to say to you…” He began stiffly. Seven could only nod, anxiety silencing her voice and he continued. “Starfleet has made me its envoy in saying that you have our apologies and condolences for placing you in this situation and that we are doing all we can to eradicate Section 31 and other rouge elements from our organisation.”

“I appreciate that.” Seven said as gracefully as she could muster.

“May I also ask for personal forgiveness in allowing my prejudices to so utterly blind me to the truth?”

“You have it.” Seven said quickly, “And my respect Admiral.”

He bowed his head, “I’m honoured, excuse me.” In his retreat he almost crashed into a white faced and visibly distraught Admiral Janeway, the grief filled expression she gave both Seven and Chakotay unsettling them both.

“I’m…I’m so sorry…more than I can say, I never meant for this to happen…”

Seven couldn’t allow her to continue, it seriously endangered her own self control. “I…I know…” She said as firmly as possible before changing the subject. “Would you like to see Xenia?”

“I’d love to…” Janeway replied thickly, not expecting such easy forgiveness from both of them. Seven sought out Xenia and gently handed her to the Admiral, who looked at the baby in smiling shock. “Hi sweetheart…so you’re your father's surprise engagement present hmm?”

As Janeway was distracted Chakotay leaned over and whispered into Seven’s ear, “Well done.” Seven herself suddenly felt weak as she looked into the cheery crowd of friends, reality finally hitting her that her ordeal was truly over.