Colorful Creatures Club

Lions, Tigers, and Bears, Oh My! | Practice Review

This chapter is for you to practice the club's preferred constructive criticism methods. I will send an excerpt of one of my books, and you will comment on it as you would if I were your partner. This excessive will help me determine if you can give adequate and helpful feedback. If you can't, then you aren't right for this club.

The Excerpt (and where your 5 constructive comments and ending review will be):

I stare down at the drawing. "What is this supposed to be?" I point at a figure on the page that appears to be a hellish beast conjured by an evil warlock to kick-start the apocalypse.

"It's God!" My little, five-year-old son peers up at me, expectantly, curly dark locks bouncing as he lifts his head to look me in the eyes. "Do you like it, Mama?"

I cough and shift my body. I am stunned. I had no idea this was how he thought of God. I have never really talked about it with him before. I have a hard time believing in the supernatural. Jake doesn't. My ever-trusted partner-in-crime (a.k.a. husband) has a firm, unbreakable belief in God. He grew up in a family of eleven. A superbly devout Catholic family. His ties to his faith have never wavered. Well, except for in high school, but that's another story.

"Why did you draw Him like that, Hale?"

He takes a deep breath. "In the stories, he seems so mean..." His face pales. "And scary."

Uh oh. This is definitely a Jake conversation. Not a me one.

"Jake! Honey, come here!" I think he can take a break from the game for a little while.

Hale snatches the paper from my hands as soon as he hears his father's heavy footsteps coming down the hallway leading from the living space to the kitchen. He runs to Jake like his life depended upon it, holding the art piece at arms-length. He doesn't stop until he literally runs into his father, the big, muscular man whom Hale had inherited his dark skin from. He trips when he runs into the hard rock that is my husband. He gets right back up and continues like nothing happened. "Look, Dad!" He holds the sheet directly in front of Jake's face, who is now genuflecting on one knee. "I drew God!"

Jake's eyes go big. A moment passes. He bursts into laughter. "Oh... my... goodness," he says between fits of chuckles. He scruffs Hale's hair. "I love you, my boy."

"Okay!" He runs back to me and climbs on my lap.

Jake and I are both laughing now. I enjoy these moments. Moments where I can't help but be thankful for this child that I birthed. This husband that I married. This family that I have.

All of a sudden, Jake turns serious, shocking me to silence. "Hale, do you know what the word 'agathokakological' means?"

Hale pauses, eyes shifted. Then, lifts his chins confidently. "Yes!"

I smile at that. But Jake is still serious. "Oh really? What does it mean?"

Another pause. Eyes light up with realization. "It means... you EAT PIZZA!"

All my teeth are showing, but Jake's stays straight. "Close. It means that someone is good and bad."

Hale stays silent for a moment, processing, his mouth open wide. "Oh."

"That means that they can do good things and they can do bad things. You are agathokakological. I am agathokakological. Even Mom is agathokakological."

"Woah." The amazement in my son's voice was almost hysterical.

"But," Jake is now leaning against the island across from where Hale and I sit, eyes resting intently on Hale. "You know who isn't agathokakological?"

Hale leans forward to climb over to Jake. Once safely in his dad's arms, he asks, "Who?"

Hale whispers something in his ear. When he finishes, he says aloud, "You ready?"

Hale nods, climbs down, and walks up to me. He screams at the top of his lungs, breaking my eardrums just a tad bit. "GOD IS NOT AGATOKO!" And he runs off.

Hale's smiling now. "For the record, I didn't tell him to scream."

I snort. Then get serious. "You know, I still don't understand how you can believe in something that you can't see. But, I do admire you for it. It's one of the damn things I love about you. I'm glad Hale has you as a father."

Jake raises an eyebrow and shakes his head disapprovingly. "Language, missy."

I laugh and lean across the island to peck him on the lips.

After I pull away, Jake speaks. "Hey." He brings his hand to my face, caressing it with his soft hands. "All the constellations."

What we like to call our "love phrase," "all the constellations" has been a part of our relationship since the beginning, when we took astronomy classes in college together. It is a sign of our love and devotion to each other no matter our differences.

I return the phrase and kiss him again.

A second later, we are interrupted by Hale. "GUYS! I DRAWED A BLACK HOLE!"

It was a sheet of paper with a black scribble-in circle.

End of Excerpt (ending review should go here)———>>>

Now, head on over to the forms (Emerald City) to officially join CCC!