Still the One (Narry)

ch. 9

**Niall's POV**

I didn't know what to think.  Harry told me he still loves me.  I was flipping out inside.  He still loves me.  He said he still loves me.  But it wasn't true.  It couldn't be, not after everything I now knew.  Not after everything that had happened.

"I still do."

I stared at Harry, eyes wide.  He looked at me nervously, obviously starting to panic the longer I was silent.  He looked away from me, self consciously messing up his hair.  I realized I should probably respond, but I just really didn't know what to say.

"Just-just forget it.  I shouldn't have said anything.  I'm so-"

"You can't just say something like that.  Not after everything you've put me through."

"I know, I'm sorry.  It wasn't fair, I shouldn't-"

"No you shouldn't have.  You broke my heart, and you expect me to just believe that you've always loved me?  That you still do?  What the hell is your problem?"

Harry's eyes were wide with shock.  I understood why.  I was the carefree mofo in the group.  I didn't get angry, it just didn't happen.  But he didn't understand.  I wasn't angry, I was broken.  I was sad and broken and pathetic and he was just going to play me around and leave me again.

"I just thought-"

"What did you think?  That I would just forgive you?  That I would just be ok with everything you did to me because, by the way, you still love me?  That doesn't fix everything."

"Niall, please!  I'm sorry!"

"Sorry for what?  Breaking my heart?  Coming back and breaking it even more?"  I know I had promised Liam that I would try.  That I would give him a chance.  But I couldn't, I couldn't just let him off that easy.  I had realized that sometime that night.  I just wasn't ok yet.

Tears started to well up in Harry's eyes.  I felt my cold mask waver a bit, but I held it up.  I couldn't let him see how much this hurt me.  I couldn't let him see that everything in me was fighting to just take him back, but I couldn't.  He left me, he broke me and he didn't even look back.

"I didn't mean to.  I didn't think you would miss me."

"Harry, I loved you.  How could I not?  You left, and you never looked back."  I stood up and went to the door.

"No, Niall, wait!"  Harry grabbed my wrist.

"I have to go."  I refused to turn and look at him.

"Niall-"

"No!  Don't you remember?  You said it yourself.  It's over, it was never going to work and we were just fooling ourselves."  I repeated some of the words he had said to me when he broke up with me, when our roles were reversed.

"I didn't mean it.  I was just scared."

"Let go."  I pulled away from him and ran out of his apartment.

I ran the entire way back to my apartment before laying down and bursting out into tears.  I ignored my phone when it rang and stayed in my flat the rest of the weekend, refusing to talk to any of the guys.  I didn't want to explain.

I walked through the halls of uni, ignoring all the girls gushing over the One Direction concerts that weekend.  From what I could tell though, the Friday one was best.  The boys were apparently not as into it and peppy as usual for the other one.

I kept my head down through the day, but I couldn't ignore Louis forever.

"Niall Horan, get your Leprechaun ass over here and tell me what the hell happened!"  Louis grabbed my arm and dragged me to an empty room.

"Harry told me he still loves me."

"That's amazing!"  Louis gasped.

I shook my head.  "No, it isn't.  He told me so himself, when he left.  We would never work.  He was just lonely.  Liam has you and Zayn has Perrie.  I was there and he knew I still have feelings for him so he decided why not."

"You don't know that, Ni.  Harry seems gutted."

"It doesn't matter, anyway.  I'm not going to hold him back.  He could have anyone he wanted, why would he choose the pathetic guy he left when he got famous?"

"Niall..."

I shook my head.  "No, Louis.  You and Liam are different.  Liam doesn't fall for people easily, so we know he won't just leave you no matter what.  And you're you.  It's impossible not to love you."

"No, Niall-"

"It's ok, Lou."  I shrugged, turning to leave.

"Niall, don't just give up!  They aren't leaving until noon tomorrow, you can still fix this!"

"Don't you get it Louis?  There's nothing to fix."

I left the room, not looking back at Louis.  I couldn't face the look of pain I know is stamped across his face right now.  He knows how much I love Harry, he's been there for me while I've tried-and failed-to get over him.  He saw in my eyes at the concert how much I felt for him.  But I couldn't do this.

I felt tears slide down my cheeks and I stifled a sob.  I got a couple weird looks from people in the hallways.  A bunch of people came up and asked if I was alright but I didn't answer them.  Obviously I wasn't alright.  I wouldn't be crying if I was.  If I was alright, I would be laughing and smiling and goofing off with Louis.  If I was alright, I would be talking One Direction with Louis, Eleanor, and Danielle.

If I was alright, I would be dating Harry Styles, because he never would have left me.