what it feels like - Austin Butler

thirty - overthinking

AUSTIN'S POV

A little after 9 pm, I hear the door open, and see a very drunk Isla come walking in. Oh lord. What happened down there?

"Austin!" she almost screams, "My love." Isla comes running toward me, drops my suit jacket and her purse, and throws her body on top of mine, the two of us laying on the luxurious bed.

"Hey baby," I pull her tight to my chest. I look down to her face and notice the ponytail she had in at dinner is a complete mess. There's hair covering her whole face, which I brush away with my hand before asking, "How much did you two drink?"

"Not that much just like," she slurs, pausing to think, "A little more wine."

"Oh yeah? Just a little?" I laugh. They definitely drank more than just a little.

"Yep." She sits up, scooching herself closer to me. "Aus."

"I."

"It's our first night in France," she drags out her words, beginning to kiss my neck.

I sit up with her on my lap. "And you," I point, "Are very very drunk." I kiss her cheek before quickly lifting her up and bringing her into the bathroom. "Let's get your makeup off, yeah?"

"Yeah." She sits on the counter as I get out her bag of skincare, and follow her usual routine. I start by using a cotton pad to remove her makeup, then washing her skin and wiping it off. I drop some of the serums she uses on her skin, then apply her moisterizer and begin taking what's left of her ponytail out. She's almost asleep at this point.

As I brush out her hair, she lightly hums and rests her head on my body. I love her so much. Shit. I love her. It's too soon though, way too soon. Is it wrong though? I need to think about something else. "What are you wearing to bed?" I ask since she's currently wearing a dress.

Isla looks straight into my eyes and says, "Nothing." After a moment of shock she continues, "You could join me." So she's a horny drunk. Good to know.

"I'm good babe," I reply, kissing her cheek.

She gets up, walking out of the bathroom, and stripping off her clothes. "Your loss." I scoff as she gets into our bed and under the white duvet.

I lay in bed next to her, already in my pajamas and I'm a little curious about what her and Olvia talked about. "So you like Olivia? You're friends?"

"Like her? Babe, I love her." She turns toward me. "I don't blame you one bit, I would've hit that too."

I act offended and gasp, "Isla Dempsey. Don't say that. I might just have to make you walk all the way home."

"Oh let it go, I made you walk a block." She rolls her eyes dramatically. "Anyways, yes I really like Olivia and I think the two of us might go get breakfast tomorrow morning. If you're still going to take a run in the morning?"

I'm glad the two of them are getting along, Isla is like my favorite person in the world and Olivia is one of my best friends. "Yeah. I'll run in the gym though. I don't know a route here."

"Okay wake me up when you get up," She whispers, barely staying awake.

"Will do." I lean over, kiss her forehead, and turn off the lamp. "Goodnight, I."

It takes her a few seconds to answer, due to her current half awake half asleep state. "Goodnight, Aus. I love you."

I love you. I have to remind myself that she's drunk and she probably didn't mean it. I'm sure it was just out of habit. Was it though? Or does she feel the same way I do? I mean, they do say drunk words are sober thoughts. If I pretend I don't hear it and she remembers in the morning, will she think I don't love her? But also, if I say it back will she think it's too soon?

I settle on just drawing her body toward mine, holding her tight, and pressing a kiss to her temple.