Their hands are shaking.
Mizuki swipes at the sweat gathered on their forehead, brushing past matted bangs to poke gently at the bags under their eyes. Their skin is pale, with bloodless lips and a severe look in their eyes. It's a look they're familiar with, along with the shaking hands, the twisting of their stomach that leaves them doubling over the porcelain bowl.
This early in the morning, no one else is awake yet. They lean back to rest their head on the cool tiles of the bathroom wall, struggling to breathe past the anxiety and disgust crawling up their throat. They're well acquainted with these bouts of anxiety attacks. Still, it feels like a defeat as they shut their eyes; the hurt mounts as their body aches with a vengeance. It's been a while since they've had an attack this bad.
But it's fine. They'd be okay.
It was just a normal day. One out of the countless days they'd already had before. They'd always managed just fine before, so they would be fine now. It was routine. Familiar. And so they stand with shaky legs, an arm curled over their stomach, blinking back frustrated tears.
In the mirror, tired eyes peek out from behind a porcelain doll. Their reflection is fogged from the heat of the bath that had slowly been filling as they lay hunched over the toilet. Resentment makes their expression ugly, even as they practise a smile.
Just who are you trying to be, Mizuki?
What are you trying to prove?
A hollow body filled with avarice, disgusting in its want – it stares back at them. In the distance, there is the sound of phantom laughter, malicious whispers that meld with the cold look in their eyes. Their silhouettes always seem to loom.
(What a weirdo.)
Their smile turns bitter.
Can't I be just me?
--
|| enanan • Today at 8.34am
does anyone want to meet up for lunch?
i need to go get more paints from downtown
and i'm in the mood to hang out
|| Yuki • Today at 8.34am
I'm free.
|| k • Today at 8.34am
yuki's free?
|| Yuki • Today at 8.35am
Yes, afternoon classes have been cancelled. I have a bit of free time.
What time would you want to meet @enanan ?
|| enanan • Today at 8.40am
hmmmm
how does 1 sound?
|| k • Today at 8.41am
alright.
what about @amia ?
A barrage of emotes flood the chat following Kanade's message, Ena clearly excited about the impromptu meet up. Still, they frown slightly, hesitating.
Of course, on a normal day, they'd be excited too. It's not often that Mafuyu gets a day off to hang out. But, just, with today already leaving their stomach rather finicky, the thought of any attention being placed on them – it's enough to make them feel vaguely nauseous once again.
Ah.... I don't think I'll be able to fool them today.
Their hands are still shaking, so typing is a little bit difficult. They wonder what excuse they can give this time. Part time job? No, they used that excuse the last time. School? Who were they trying to fool, they would usually have no qualms waltzing out not even halfway through the day.
They settle on a half-truth instead.
I'll just tell them I'm feeling kinda sick—
|| enanan • Today at 8.43am
@amia you're free right?
it'd be nice to meet up with everyone again
feels like it's been a while since we last met up
YOU ARE READING
here comes the sun (someday, you'll be alright)
FanfictionThey've known for a while now. Well, perhaps they'd always known, just kept it tucked away like a dirty little secret, in order to keep some semblance of control, to simply breathe- It couldn't have lasted. Friends, a normal life, a normal self. Ic...
