His Light

Chapter 4

I screamed as I ran. Tobias was chasing me, ready to punish me for my interference.

Maybe I shouldn't have interrupted. But I couldn't help it. The sight of my mother, helpless on the floor while he got ready to torture her in some new, cruel way was just too much to take.

I could take a whipping. I couldn't stand to watch my mother get hurt.

I whipped around the corner, and soon realized I had run the wrong way. I should've sprinted outside, where I had infinite options of where to go next. Now I only had the closet or the window.

I wasn't stupid. I wouldn't jump out the window and injure or kill myself.

I turned around and closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable punishment.

When I opened my eyes, I was in my bedroom, my mother shaking me awake. No words were exchanged as I sat up, but she wrapped her arms around me in a gentle hug.

There was nothing to say, and she knew it. Nothing could comfort me when my nightmares were real. Saying 'it's okay' wouldn't help.

But her warm embrace did. Her body was thin and bony, but she was still my mum. Despite the daily trauma we were put through, we still loved and cared for each other.

When we pulled apart, she moved to lean on the headboard with me, wrapping her arm over my shoulder. I rested my body against hers, feeling secure with her beside me.

"We still have a few hours before he wakes up, you know. Tell me about Hogwarts," she said. And I did.

I told her everything, even about the things Potter and his gang did to me. The best part about my mother was that she never judged me. She just listened, smiling when I told her enthusiastically about the spells and potions I had learned.

My face fell as my voice grew quiet. Talking about all my moments at Hogwarts made me realize how few good memories I had. For every good memory, there were at least two or three bad ones, courtesy of Potter or any of them.

My mother noticed my change of expression, and pulled me closer.

"Severus, you are the strongest person I know. Certainly stronger than me, and even though I haven't met your classmates, I'm willing to bet you're stronger than them too. Do you know why?"

I looked at her disbelievingly, my eyebrow raised. "Why, mum?"

"Because despite all the trauma and torture you go through, both here and at school, you can still love. You still care about others, even though most people in your situation would hate the world and everyone in it, with no love in their hearts."

"You sound like Dumbledore. Why does that matter, mum? I'm still treated like shit, love won't change that," I argued.

"Love grounds you, Severus. It keeps you anchored, kept from slipping into an endless sea of hate and vengeance."

"But what if I do slip?"

"Just remember the people you care about, Severus. Maybe you will get angry one day, and maybe you'll do something bad that you regret. But love will keep you from sinking into the ocean of evil. Maybe it'll even help you find your way out if you fall in.

So please, promise me you'll remember the people you love, always."

I still didn't fully understand. I didn't see what good an emotion would do me. But I still promised.

"I'll remember the people I love, mum. Always."

Always...

I opened my eyes again, this time ending up in reality. The lights were once again bright around me, and I sat up in the hospital bed, putting my face in my hands.