The Things You Will Never Know

The Boys

Thank you to kinkyfries for your lovely comments about this story 💕🥰

SEVEN YEARS AGO

Max and I stay sitting on that bench, taking turns of biting into what remains of the sweetly spiced October bun, passing it back and forth between us. We laugh together as we end up with syrup all over our hands and half of our faces. Mine is the only laugh you can hear though; Max's is silent but that fact isn't important. All that matters is that I can clearly see the intent to laugh written all over him as I lick the remaining syrup off each of my individual fingers one by one. He ends up doing the same, smiling at me in-between in a way that is so rare for him. He barely ever smiles.

I'm so busy watching him that I don't notice some other kids from school standing near us until I hear them laughing and whispering in a way that isn't really quiet at all. They want us to hear and they give Max a horrible look, then do the same to me just for being associated with him. I know instantly the moment Max notices them too, because any trace of the beautiful smile he just gave me is long gone and he retreats into himself. He even shuffles away from me on the bench, like he thinks I won't want to be near him any longer.

He's wrong. I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I do care about him though, so I give my best scowl to the group of our 'classmates' and move so I'm sitting right back next to Max again. They look at me like I'm an alien or something and then decide to walk away, calling us 'freaks' as they pass by.

Even when they're gone, Max still tries to get away from me. He won't even look at me. Still, I can see the feeling of shame all over him.

As he gets up to walk away, I run after him and slip my hand into his, hoping he doesn't mind me doing it. It's enough to get him to stop and he looks down at my hand in his like he can't quite believe it. I guess I can't either. I've wanted to hold his hand for a long time, ever since that Halloween night when he first held mine, but I've never been close enough to him in the years that passed to have the opportunity. It feels nice now though, like our palms and fingers fit together perfectly.

"You're not a freak." I say, squeezing his hand just a little tighter, trying to make him understand I don't scare that easily and I won't be put off being his friend just because of some stupid people we go to school with.

He gives me a sad smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes but he doesn't remove his hand from mine, so I take that as a sign that he doesn't want to part ways just yet. I could ask him if he wants to come explore the rest of the festival with me but I decide to take a page out of his book and communicate without words. I silently start walking backwards, tilting my head towards the crowds of people all bustling around the various stalls behind me, leaving our arms stretched out between us as I do.

I hope more than anything that he decides to come with me.

I like being alone most of the time, but it would be nice to have someone to share my favourite night of the year with, at least just once. And for it to be him, the boy I've always felt an unexplained connection with, that would just be...perfect.

You have no idea how happy I feel when he eventually accepts my silent invitation and follows me into the crowds. We both take off running, darting in between everyone else to go and explore, still hand in hand.

****

The time passes so quickly that I almost miss my next check in with Grandma Wilder, and I almost don't even care. I could spend the whole night getting lost in this perfect Halloween bubble with Max, forgetting the rest of the world exists.