To love you is a Gift (GAP ending)

2

*Sam's POV*
I let go of the tears im holding on when I arrived at our room. The room where she stays, where we sleep, a place where I can hold my world for a long time, where I can hold her. This is my favorite part of the house but now I think this will not be the case anymore. As I closed the door, I suddenly lose my strength. I lean on the door and slowly slump at the floor. Mon.., she left me. She choose to leave me. Why, why does everyone wants to leave me. Am I that hard to love?. Why dont they stay with me, all I want is to feel loved and be happy. But I guess it is not for me.

When I entered the company the following day, Yah knock on my door and give me the resignation letter of Mon. Without waiting for my reply, Yah went out. I was only staring at the letter.. I detest it, I want to rip it thinking that if I do she will comeback to me. But will she really?. However, I guess Mon is really determined to leave me. I only said what I said yesterday because I'm hurt but she, she really wants to leave me. Am I that easy to leave Mon? Don't you love me anymore? Why does it seems that I am always the one who is hurt and left behind?
There are many whys in my mind but no matter what I think or do I cannot anwer it and I think I dont want to know the answers particularly the ones that would hurt me the most.
Instead of crying I arc my lips into a smile. Despite the despair I feel, I smile so thay they cant see Im hurting inside.
As the days pass, my hope is slowly dwindling. I am hoping that Mon would appear at my door saying she loves me and would take back what she said that night.. But even if I stare whole day at my office door or stay awake all night and stay at the living room.. she's not coming back. I guess they are right, I need to move out and go abroad. To move on and forget about Mon. To forget how her lips taste like, how soft and how perfect it is against my own lips. To forget how her body feels against mine, how she response with my touches. To forget her smile. Her giggles because when she giggles my heart flutters. And her laugh, the best music I've ever heard because it gives meaning to my existence. Coz I believe that I am born to make her happy. Most importantly I need to forget how much I love her, to forget that there is a certain person who lights my whole and dark life.
If this really what you want then I will do it Mon. I will do it, even if it hurts so damn much.

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*2 years later*

after so many seconds, minutes, days, months, and years. I still can't let you go Mon. I always think about you. There are so many businesswoman, models and artists that I met but they can't compare to you. I can't look at them with admiration, coz how can I when you are still the best woman for me.. You are my best woman.
That's why I decided to win you back, to get back what was mine and to never let you go.

When I arrived at my house, smiling at the thought that this cold house will be warm again once I bring you back, coz my Monmon is my home. While I am still reminiscing, the househelp gave me letters, some of them was about businesses, bills and your letters. I was shocked to see your letters mon there are 20 of them.
Seeing me stunned and looking at the letter without any information from the sender and just a word written in the envelope as Khun Sam, the helper informs me that every month after I left the country, this letter will appear under my door, but the letter sender stopped giving them 3 months ago. I was happy because I know that this letter was from my Mon, I already memorized her penmanship, how she writes her alphabets and the strokes of her pen.
With excitement, I opened what I believed to be her first letter.

To my Cham Cham,

I'm sorry..
Im sorry I hurt you
Im sorry I left you..I thought what I did is what was best for you, because your grandma is right love should not be selfish. My love should not hurt you, my love should not hinder your growth, my love should encourage you. But i dont think I can bare to be away from you, I dont think letting you go is the right thing to do. Coz it hurts Khun Sam, It hurts. I feel like my whole world is breaking apart, I feel that there are no colors or reason for my existence anymore. Please my love can you take me back, can you still accept me despite breaking my promises and hurting you. Can I still be your Monmon. Please my Chamcham.. Please love me again.